Comfort

  Just got done talking to my sponsor. Today marks four years sober! Woot!

  Tonight I am going to my home group and get my coin. Strange thing tho, I woke up wanting to go without my wedding ring. Then I could pick up a babe! Happy four years to me, right?!! Let's celebrate with a smooch!

  Whoa there turbo! I am in no shape to start dating, its just that I want the comfort of feeling attractive. The knowledge that I am desired really appeals to me.

  But what could I attract right now?

  If she was healthy and smart, she would not be attracted. She would look at my current divorce, the separation of my kids, and conclude that I wasn't ready yet. She would be a  wise woman to conclude that. I need more healing.

  On the other hand, a woman new in recovery would fit the bill quite nicely! She would be worried that she was damaged goods. She would see my four years as quite attractive. She could instantly think I am a white knight come to rescue her. We would forge a new path into the depths of despair....holding hands!

  What part of that sounds wise? I wear this ring for that reason. I cannot be trusted when an attractive woman gives me  "those eyes". I turn into a teenage boy full of raging hormones. I have always been suave, only now I can speak the language of recovery, so I could carefully craft my words to attract her emotionally as well. Disaster!

  I want a companion. Someone whom I can bless and be blessed by. I need to be careful that I don't fall into a relationship out of desperation or loneliness. Some more healing has to take place. A finalized divorce might be a good idea also!

  So yeah, women are great comforters. I want to be comforted. Maybe I will just go flirt. What could possibly go wrong?!!!