The clock on the wall indicates thirty minutes til I need to leave. What is to follow terrifies me. I journey to get the paperwork for my divorce from my wife's attorney. The paperwork will be a pretty fair assessment of what this part of my life will look like in the coming months and years.
I want to freak out for a while. I'm scared.
Part of me feels like a phoney for having fear. The whole "Fear not, trust God" stuff isn't working right now...OK maybe a little bit...but certainly not as much as I would like! A crisis of faith? Not really. Its more of a crisis of losing my best friend, and I don't want it to be ugly.
For a week I have been watching this time arrive. Questions have been swirling around in my head. Will I find amicable papers, or a war compact? Who really knows? Not me, not yet!
I have plans to be with friends tonight. Ones of whom I can freak out around. Ones who will give of there strength to buoy up this fragile man. Friends who I have found solace and comfort in.
Its down to twenty minutes.
