Shadows

  In God there is no darkness.

  That statement is a doosie. For many years I have been a shadow walker, content to have enough light to see but never enough exposure to get burned.

  Jesus said that we do not come into the light because our deeds are evil and we don't want them exposed.

  Truth be told, I was a hypocrite. A hypocrite isn't someone who claims to be good, yet still does wrong. A hypocrite is someone, like me, who did wrong and pretended I was doing good. I was a fake Christian.

  I knew all the songs. I cried at the right times. I studied Gods word. I did many outward things that made me appear as a Christian. Inwardly, I was a graveyard, a white washed sepulcher. A tomb with lovely flowers.

  One day the shadows became too dark for me. No longer could I try to grow there. Man does not have a tag that says, "Plant in partial Sonlight". I was attempting to grow in conditions that were unsuitable for life.

  The light is blinding. Let's be real here. It is the toughest thing to do, this walking into the light. It exposes everything. I have yet to see an ICU room that was ill lit.

  It is a gentle light. God illuminates and covers, all at the same time. Step out dear friend, step out. 

Gription

  By forcing "grip" and "traction" together, you end up with this marvelous "gription" word. My mom used to be so annoyed with its usage. She was very kind about it but would ask me, "You know that's not a word, right?"

  How could it not be a word if I just said it? And you knew what it meant? She is right, of course. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it and spoke it often.

  Imagine my shock to find some guys wearing work gloves with the name "Gription" on them! Good on you whoever thought that up!

Boston baked beans and Lemonheads

  Strange title I know. But I went and bought some candy to scratch an itch my sweet tooth was creating. I got to thinking about candy experiences of my life.

  The one I came up with was back in elementary school and my sister was playing softball. My mom and I would sit in the stands and root for my sister.

  Somehow my mom had the money for me to go and get a little candy. This was a real treat for me. Candy money was in limited supply.

  The Boston baked beans were sweet yet had that savory center of nutty goodness. Seeeing as I am not a sweet tooth guy (well sometimes I am) this candy was just about right. I never quite mustered the patience to make it to just the nut. Besides, they had to be enjoyed whole.

  Ah, but the Lemonhead. Sour and sweet. Now, keep in mind, this was before all this new fangled super sour snacks of today. They were potent and we loved them. I would suck on them until all the yellow was gone. You were then left with a white, softish, kinda pop-rockyish piece of candy. When I was patient enough, the white stuff was truly the cats meow.

  Regardless what candy I had chosen there was always one more facinating treat these little boxes would bring. If you opened one end, left the other end closed, put your mouth around the open end and blew, a instant kazoo!

  If you blew too hard the other end would pop open. Too soft and your mom couldn't enjoy those dulcet tones. Invariably the thing would slobber up or fall apart. I bet my mom was grateful that cardboard wasn't permanent.

  So go find a small box of candy and try your hand at making a kazoo. It has to be a box that can be opened then closed again. The glued on both ends kind won't work. Open it, enjoy the treats, close the little lip thingy, and wail. Perhaps call mom and play some for her. I mean why have all the fun to yourself?!

......Correction.....
  I just tried out a small box of Dots (held six Dots). It squeeked a little. The box was too small for some real kazoo action. Perhaps the glued ones can work. They won't blow apart and maybe they will last longer. Won't mom be glad!

.......Correction update.....
  I have tried a few more "glued" boxes. Only the first one ever squeeked. Bummer :b...
 

Christmas lights

  Its beginning to look like Christmas! Well, ok, still a week or two to go. But, I saw the most amazing light display on another truck today.

  There I was, minding my own buisness, and getting fuel in Spokane. This light show on wheels pulls up in the stall next to mine. I was blown away by the lights and garland.

  The driver had a huge smile. The smile seemed to go past the very edges of her face.

  The driver says, "That's six hundred lights, gotta stop at Walmart for more garland. I still have three hundred more lights I need to put on!"

  Nine hundred lights on the truck! Are you kidding me?!

  The driver goes on to explain why the lights are on the truck so early, "I have a dear friend with cancer over in Seattle. I won't get back to see her before Christmas, so I decorated early. I am on my way to see her now."

  The driver went on to say, "Imagine us, we drop the trailer and cruise all around Seattle in a lit up Peterbilt!"

  Yes, I can imagine. I imagine tonight or tomorrow night there will be a couple of old friends laughing, celebrating, and getting lots of attention.

  What a tremendous gift of love!

  

Painful joy

  Recovery has been painful and joyful, sometimes at the same moments. One such moment is the holidays.

  Yesterday, while doing my shopping, I noticed wonderful christmas music playing. I sang along, chirping and dancing (well, almost). It was great.

  After singing along for a bit my mind began to focus on christmas morning. My wife and I would have just pulled an all nighter to get the presents wrapped. We would stuff some gifts and treats into the stockings. The daughters would wake up and have free reign over the stockings, but would have to wait for Mom and Dad to get up before opening the gifts. They were always so full of joy.

  Due to circumstances that I created, last year I missed celebrating the holidays with my family. There were still times of joy and happiness, yet. I hate "yets".

  So here I am in this Walmart singing along and remembering that this Christmas could be as last years was. My heart sank.

  I quickly realized I had to get out of the store. I grabbed what I knew I needed and bolted for the door. A miracle happened on the way out, there was a cashier with nobody in line, he just waved me in!

  I almost made it to my truck before the tears came. Since nobody was around to embarass me, I leaned against the truck and poured out my soul to my creator.

  So I am left with this strange mixture of emotions in my life. On the one hand, I am set free from my addictions and I celebrate. On the other, my addictions caused trouble that isn't over yet and I am not sure when it will be.

  For today I just move on. I never know when I will be side-swiped with these emotions. I know this, despite how difficult these feelings are to experience, I am so grateful that I can feel them. 

  It doesn't concern me that I could have an emotional moment in a parking lot. What concerns me is, how long until I can share those moments with my family?

  Have patience. God has been pulling an all-nighter. He is making Joshua grow up. I will emerge from this a spiritual warrior. If this process isn't perfected in Christ, I am doomed for failure.

  Take me Lord. Help me to never turn back from your will. I repent of my sin and despise those things I have done. Strengthen me in your word so that I might not fail. Lead on, Lord, lead on. 

 
 

  

Fear and Love

  Last night a friend and I had a discussion about fear. He had been in a conversation with others earlier in the night about fear. Guess some people don't understand how fear functions. He was having the correct thoughts, yet these others mistaken ideas started causing him some doubts.

  His thoughts were, if he begins to have fear in his life, he prays and God removes the fear. True, very true.

  Here's the thing: the Bible states clearly that "perfect love casteth out fear" (1 John 4:18). This section of the Bible is speaking about judgement of believers. It refines the thought down further by talking about how "as he was in the world so are we" (vs 17).

  So, if Christ was perfect and had no fear, can we be the same? Sure we won't be perfect in the sense of living a sinless life, but Jesus' perfect life is transferred to us, when we seek His forgiveness and trust in the finished work of the cross. So, that solves the perfection problem, what then about the fear issue?

  First let's define what fear is. I will choose two basic ideas about fear. One is a fear about things that could happen or have happened. The other is a fear of God.

  The fear of God is supposed to be a good thing. The Bible implores us to have this type of fear. If we are afraid we must ask if we are fearing God. If we are "fearing God" then the problem is solved.

  Most likely we are not fearing God. We are fearing circumstances. These circumstances can be self-inflicted or thrust on us by others. So what do we do?

  We must place our trust in Gods love. Provided that I have trusted Him with forgiving my sins, why should I struggle placing the rest of my life upon his shoulders? Am I forgetting that God has all power? Do I have assurance of His love penetrating my very being?

  The solution to the fear problem is so simple. Read the Bible, trust, and do what it says. Leave the worrying to God. He can handle it. He really can.  

  Upon reading this, you may think I have over-simplified the issue. You may have doubts that creep in and sieze you up. Hours upon hours spent freting over problems causing untold amounts of grief. Sleepless nights. Even ulcers can happen.

  Give it to God. My friend, God cares for you. His love will cast out your fear. He wants you to trust Him in everything. Praise God for His amazing grace!

  Oh, but let me caution you. If we have not received the gift of salvation, we should fear. If we have known sin in our life that we refuse to deal with, we should fear. If we are not doing the things God has asked, we should fear.

  It really is quite simple! Let me implore you, cast your cares upon God. Trust not on yourself. Let the finished work of Jesus carry you through life. His promises are real and His love is sure. Oh friend, give your heart to the one who made it!

  Step out and trust in Jesus. He promised to send you The Comforter. Take the gift! If God be for you, what worries could you possibly have?

Step into the light

Click Here. Timothy Brindle sings about being set free from pornography and sexual sin. Please, if you struggle or know someone who does, pray for them and share how Christ can set them free. Free indeed.

Mine Iniquities

Psa 40:11-13   Withhold not thou thy tender mercies from me, O LORD: let thy lovingkindness and thy truth continually preserve me. For innumerable evils have compassed me about: mine iniquities have taken hold upon me, so that I am not able to look up; they are more than the hairs of mine head: therefore my heart faileth me. Be pleased, O LORD, to deliver me: O LORD, make haste to help me.

  

Crab Truck

  This truck was parked next to me and getting unloaded at the same time. When he pulled out of the dock I noticed some tubes and airlines running along the inside ceiling of the trailer.

"What are the airlines for", I inquired.

"For hauling live crabs to the market from the ships", he replied.

  This is very specialized transport, I suppose. The airlines somehow keep the crawlers alive while in transport. Cool huh?

  This reminds me, I want to have a crab cookout sometime. I will call it a "Bring a hammer dinner". Everyone brings a hammer, we lay out some butcher paper, and lay out crabs and corn on the cob. There could be other food stuff as well. The point is to have a complete "hands on" dinner.

  Imagine the fun of everyone smashing and laughing. It would be a night to remember. Perhaps for music "If I had a hammer" would hit the spot.

  What kind of fun dinner parties can you think up? Have fun!

7 Billion People!

  The figure is so large (7,000,000,000) it is almost inconceivable. Try it out this way:

If you averaged one second for every number,
If you counted every second of every day,
If you only counted to 1 billion,
IT WOULD TAKE OVER 30 YEARS!

  Ah well. Glad you and I aren't God. That's a whole lotta people to keep track of. Staggering number isn't it? 30 years to count to 1 billion.

  Just a side note:
There is roughly 2.8 billion acres in the USA. That's about 3 people per acre. The earth is huge by large!

  My wife was wondering how they counted them all. They must have started like 200 plus years ago!

Lonnie Frizbee

  I have been catching up on the history of the Jesus movement of the late 60's and early 70's. Lonnie Frisbee certainly played an intregal part in these happenings.

  When Lonnie was saved he eventually found himself at Chuck Smiths house. Chuck had, until this point, rather despised the hippies and wanted them to clean up and change. When the two met Chucks heart was changed and thus began the transformation of Calvary Chapel.

  Lonnies life was one of struggles and victories. Much like the men in the bible, Lonnie served God yet struggled with his flesh. The bible speaks of these stuggles as being common to all men. The only exception to this truth is Jesus.

  Although Lonnie and I would have disagreed on some points about serving God, his salvation message and experience I find agreement upon. He spoke about repentance and reconciliation. He spoke about wrath and judgement. He spoke about love and mercy.

  I thank God for Lonnie. I have had troubles in my own walk with God. My troubles were also self-inflicted. I have been concerned that these faults meant that God could not use me. Lonnie proved that wrong. 

  Someday I will meet Lonnie. I hope heaven is a place where I can thank him for his service in the Kingdom of God. Many men have influenced my life, for some Lonnie influenced theirs. To be direct, without Lonnie and Calvary Chapel, my parents would not have met and had me. Now that's sumthin'!

  I stand in awe of Gods great grace. I, like some others, will always wonder how much more Lonnie could have been used if he hadn't let certain sin into his life. Nevertheless, God used Lonnie in a mighty way and the world will never be the same. Praise God that He uses broken sinners to preach the word.

  Lonnie, I never met you, but my life would not be the same if you never had served God. Thank you.