Looks like for the next couple of months I will be struggling my way thru divorce. My life for the last couple of years has had this looming over it. I have held a torch for my wife and hoped that she could somehow forgive me and we could reconcile. That isn't going to happen.
I find myself wanting to listen to sad songs and read sad stories. I want to yell and fight. I feel invisible and want to be heard. I can no longer numb out with addiction so I swing the other way and want to feel miserable.
My thoughts are disjointed and I break down easily. I try and put on a tough face but the facade only lasts so long.
I worry that my friends will grow weary of hearing me discuss the divorce. I'm not sure they can handle me process my emotions and thoughts as I go thru the next couple of months.
I have watched a couple people I love go thru divorces. It was brutal and painful to watch. Both of them seem to be doing quite well today.
I don't really think that its possible for me to get past this. I feel so wounded. My best friend has rejected me.
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