Resolutions

  I am not sure if New Years resolutions actually work. Well, at least for me they don't. OK, that's not strictly true anymore. I resolved a couple of years ago to be done with making resolutions. Sure, its a bit like betting a gambling addict that you can make him gamble, you win just by playing. I lose just by resolving not to resolve.

  I am not against resolutions, I think many are good, and often times the resolved things are quite laudable. It is wise to consider life and ponder making it better.

  But (you knew there was a but) but, I tried desperately to change myself and my behavior. I attended workshops and seminars, listened to well meaning preachers, all geared to help me change. Many a helpful suggestion was given and received with the hope that maybe this would be the thing that changed me.

  Even a certain 12 step group confused the issue. Some advised, "Be selfish and take care of yourself first". Others proclaimed that selfishness was at the root of my problem, I need to stop controlling others. Confusing!

  I think, at an intellectual level, the take care of yourself first crown nailed it. But it only works if you stop trying to control the outcomes of others.

  So, I am approaching this season of hopeful change with cynicism. I am powerless to change anything or anybody....not even myself. I continue my devout resolution to not have resolutions.

  "But aren't you concerned with just staying the same?!"

  Obviously I should be. Otherwise you wouldn't have noticed! Try not judging so much, ok?

  Just kidding! Relax a bit.

  I belong to a club of which the only requirement for joining is to not be qualified. My failures expose the greatest love imaginable. You might think that I would want to run out and fail more, go expose some more of that love. But it doesn't work that way.

  Changing from the wretch that I am, into the man I want to be, doesn't involve trying harder and doing more. My failures can't diminish the love of God. My resolutions can't gain His favor.

  So, I am free. I love those three little words, I am free. Free to fail, free to succeed, free to love, free to hate. Oops....some might not like that last one. Hater.

  My sarcasm is on high alert! Ah well, I really am digging this time of year. I even made it thru Christmas without wearing black! Life is good!

  Hope you have a great New Years! Wear a lampshade and cut loose. Begin eating some endangered species so the factory farms will begin to raise them. If you like them, they will grow them, then they won't be endangered!

  Don't take people to seriously! Sometimes its just schtick!

Happy New Years!