I'm visiting my dad right now. He is asleep. He is not doing well. Sure doesn't look good anymore. I'm kind of at a loss what to do or think. Started making plans for a memorial service. Damn, this is tough.
He has stopped any treatments. He is unresponsive. I'm not sure when the wave of grief is gonna strike. I'm not exactly excited to have that pain.
His Pastor is ok with me doing the memorial service. I'm glad. Dad was a preacher, I am as well. It will be a high honor to preach from my dad's favorite passages and sing his favorite hymns.
Right now I am so grateful for the compassion dad showed me. While many abandoned me in the wake of my addictions, he stood with me and loved me. We will likely never have those deep conversations again. I'm just glad we had them at all.
He is sitting there with his eyes open and his mouth agape, but he is asleep. I tried to say goodbye.
OUCH.
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