My right to my feelings

  Ok folks....let's get some things straight....or at least firmly crooked. Feelings are messy. Judging a situation based solely upon ones feelings is dangerous. That's why this blog is so volatile. I share about my struggles and feelings, and unfortunately they sometimes run counter to facts.

  No, this isn't my attempt to print a retraction, or somehow clarify, or edit a previous post (I can do that without writing this). This post is a refresher in the scope of what this blog is.

  Joshua and The Battle of....

   The title says it all really. I battle stuff and people. It's my take on it. Not theirs. Simple.

   If it's about me, who then is this Joshua?

  I'm a recovery man. I'm coming up on five years sober. It took a mountain of pain to change me. I only hope it was enough so I never go back. The darkness was a brutal master.

  I'm a selfish jerk. Maybe if others did things correctly, in other words MY way, then I wouldn't be so selfish.

  I'm sarcastic. See last paragraph.

  I enjoy life. Addictions had shut me completely down. I sacrificed so much at the altar of addiction. So today I live, I try and go do adventures. I enjoy many hobbies and the people that do them.

  I'm an intelligent smartass. If you are too stupid to know why, I won't bother explaining. It wouldn't help anyways.

  (I really want to edit myself on that last one. I'm gonna take some heat on that I'm sure!)

  I love people. Yes, this includes all the outcasts and forgotten ones. Chances are if you have royally screwed up I will like you. If you still think that your poop don't stink then I won't have much time for you. Broken people are beautiful. They are the rare gems. It's people who have messed things up and feel unlovable that I love the most. There is an intense connection that happens when two men share their failures.

  I'm narcissistic. This upsets many because they think that they are the important ones. Obviously they can't be, they aren't me! If they were me, they would get it. (Too much?)

  Ok, I'm done trying to think of who I am. I explain a little bit more about myself every blog I write. So scroll back thru the archives and enjoy. You will find a man who is despicable, uncaring, self-centered, and unlikeable. You will also find a man who is broken and knows it. It is difficult for me to convey feelings thru writing. So be careful while reading, sometimes I really laugh alot while typing.

  I'll just keep sharing my feelings. I know they aren't reality. How stupid do you think I am? They are FEELINGS, not facts!

  For example.....You may feel angry that I'm a jerk, but your anger is a feeling, therefore I'm not a jerk.

  See what I did there? Clever eh?

  Relax folks. I talk about deep stuff sometimes, I'm not afraid of many topics, but at the end of it all I'm just a guy sharing his thoughts.

  We good? You ok?

  Don't worry, if I haven't offended you yet, I'm working on it. It takes a while to offend everyone. But if my feelings offend you....then grow up baby!

  I'm laughing so much at writing this post. This is fun stuff!! 

  Be well out there folks. Try and find someone who needs some compassion and give it to them, you will need it someday also.