Cryptic messages

  I really enjoy throwing my thoughts down on this blog, even the bad ones. I strive not to be perfect. Instead I strive for openness. This doesn't come naturally for me. I have been an alcoholic/addict for much of my life.

  Part of my difficulty is identifying things that I struggle with and articulating them. My thoughts don't form this way.

  I traditionally function better focusing on the crap other people do. Lets face it, there is plenty of crap to talk about out there! :)

  I only achieve my feelings of contentment when I get my funky gunk out. Whereas I used to find joy in passing judgement on others, I now find joy in being more open with who I am.

  I have been at this process for over two years. No artificial pain killers.

  My family hasn't come back yet. There is hope that they will. There is fear that they won't. I don't want another family.

  I sit and think a lot. I used to call it stewing, now I think of it as more like a tossed salad.

  I have no idea what that last sentence was about. I just thought it would be funny to write it.

  So life goes on and funky gunk comes out. Life does keep getting better daily. But my historical perspective also becomes clearer.