It is with great shame and pain I write this blog.
I have hurt my family in many ways. My alcoholism and addictions have caused untold grief and anguish for many.
The forum of writing online limits what I can say. I can't disclose all the garbage I have done. In so doing I may further hurt those I have injured.
Now, with all the preliminaries out of the way, lets get real.
Today I find myself grieving very much. The horrible things I have done have caused a loved one to cut themselves and contemplate suicide.
I am incapable of describing with enough intensity the horror I feel about that last paragraph.
Throughout my recovery I have been a little naive. I supposed this person was doing fine and was able to cope. My prayers for them weren't as focused as they should have been. My selfishness was focused on them forgiving me. I should have been more concerned for their emotional healing.
This process of recovery is slow and painful. My soul is crushed and my spirit broken. How is it possible for this moron to hurt others so greatly? And now I must stand back and watch them struggle to find the same lifeline I grabbed. This stinks.
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