I am not going to write a book on this subject, but I do have some decent ideas about who is safe and who isn't. At least, I think they are decent. You be the judge.
Who is a safe person to seek counsel in?
For starters, they should hold similar values as yours. If the person is going to try to talk you into doing something you know is wrong, that person is unsafe.
That person should have nothing emotionally at stake in what you do. Sure they will love you and care about you, but if what you do can mess them up...that is an unsafe person. Suppose you share with them that your husband is looking at porn. They freak out and tell you to divorce right away...no chance for repentance. Then you find out that the person had a failed marriage and is still bitter. Unsafe person.
How about the gossip? They get so excited about your recovery they go tell everyone! Unsafe.
What about the opinionated newcomer? They know it all and am shocked at how little everyone else knows. Unsafe!
How about the one who gets angry at just about everyone they know at one time or another? You will become one of those people they get angry at.
Be careful dear friend. Unsafe people can be caring. They can appear harmless. They may even intend the best for you. But, if they aren't solid in there recovery, trusting them will make you unsure in your recovery. Ultimately, don't walk past warning signs about people.
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