I listened to an interview with a former porn star. She had been desiring to get into modeling and then slowly got coerced into revealing more and more. Her photographer had gained her trust by being nice and even talking about his own Christian background. Eventually the lure of money and the confidence of friends won over and she began posing nude.
Almost immediately God began to convict her of what she had done. She called the webmaster and tried, unsuccessfully, to back out of the deal. She was able to extricate herself from further involvement, but the damage was already done and would soon haunt her.
To her horror, within days of the site opening up her friends and family found out. Relationships were strained and hearts broken. Her relationship with her mom had still yet to heal at the time of the interview.
Today she is a beacon of hope and reconciliation. Her strength thru the pain is a true gift of God. She stands as a testimony to the love of the gospel. Her openness will help rescue many. She has become a true woman. Gods woman.
According to the interview her photos still exist on the website. Think about this, there are men who are seeing her and have no idea that she has changed. They are lusting after a woman who was very much hurt by the very images they are currently enjoying! Dude, that is rough stuff.
My own addiction to pornography caused me to not think of women as real people. By viewing so many photographs, my heart became walled off from real connection. The real women I encountered slowly became like the imaginary women. I became incapable of a true relationship.
This woman has helped me put those images back in their proper context. These aren't bodies to be lusted after, they are true women who should be cherished. They are women with hurts and pasts that have brought them to this place of confusion. They are women who seem to be enjoying life to the full, while slowly the noose tightens.
In fact, the woman in the interview said that she felt glamorous at first. With all the neat cloths and makeup, she felt beautiful. She felt cherished and cared for. She wasn't aware of her great need to feel beautiful and desired, so she sought it in the wrong place, and believed the money made it ok.
The trouble is, I felt the same way when I looked at porn. Here was an attractive lady that accepted me, warts and all. She wasn't concerned with my failures or my faults. She wasn't concerned with the finances or mortgage. It wasn't important if I truly cared for her. She was there to accept me. She could just give and I could just take. No harm done. And I really believed all that!
I am glad I listened to the interview. O how I hope that more men and women will see just how destructive becoming involved with porn can be.
Do you think the church can help? Wouldn't a former porn star be a valuable asset to The Lords church? What is it wasn't a former one, but one that was seeking?
The church is supposed to be a place of healing for all. We should be able to come and pour out our pains and disappointments. We do not become complainers when we do, rather we expose the bad thoughts to the light where they can wither and die.
Even in recovery I have bad thoughts attack me. Try out this next paragraph and see what you think. Remember, temptation isn't a sin, its when that temptation lures us away that sin begins.
I was tempted to go look up pictures of this woman. I could say that I was only going to look at proper photos of her, ya know.....just so I could more imagine her pain and be able to put a face on the struggle. Wow what a load of mushrooms that is! Looking her up would have inevitably ended with me gazing upon her naked form. My imagination would not have been satisfied with safe images when naughty ones were just a click away. By maintaining my boundaries I didn't fall and this woman wasn't objectified by yet another dude.
Let us face it, addiction is insipid and brutal. It takes no prisoners and does not negotiate. If I don't expose the wicked thoughts I slowly become alone and incapable of love. But the woman on the web page will still care for me, I just feel it. Brutal.
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