Solitude

  Solitude is healthier than isolation. Well, that's what they tell me. If one wants to comfort ones self by finding non-dysfunctional words to describe unhealthy behaviors, knock yourself out! But seriously, there are times of solitude that I find refreshing. These moments are sometimes quick and sometimes lengthy, but I cherish those moments.

  Most evenings, when I return to my truck after visiting my mom, the lot at my work is sparse of humans. Occasionally I will find someone in the truckers lounge or see a light on in a truck while someone is reading or watching a show. But most of the time the place is empty.

  I park my car in the back lot. Perhaps two hundred cars are back there. I weave my way thru the cars and walk out next to the shop. Then I encounter the trucks. Sometimes fifty, mostly more. The landscape is dotted with the trucks and trailers. Its dark. In winter there is usually fog. Often its windy. I feel small and insignificant against the backdrop of this huge lot with these trucks. I pause and smile. I ponder.

  Its a healthy pondering. I'm not sad to be alone, nor craving escape from people. I just enjoy the moment and contemplate life. I listen to a distant truck idling and smile, thinking about the warmth I will find when I start up my own rig.

  Out on harbor island, in the Puget sound, I spend some evenings. I park out there when I have a delivery at the port area in the morning. The whole island is empty and quiet. I can walk down by the water and watch Seattle across the bay, seeing all the bustling cars and the lit up buildings. I don't think any of them are looking at my island, pondering if there is a guy over there in solitude.

  I greatly enjoy those moments. Sure, sometimes they side-swipe me mentally and highjack my emotions, but most of the time it is peaceful. Its a great time to think about life. I guess you could say I am meditating amongst the machinery. Maybe that's why I can't be real specific about what I am thinking on these occasions, I am relaxing and meditating.

  Its great to live without escaping. To soak up the moments and let life just pause. I chuckle a little just now because what I am writing sounds like it could be written about the mountains or a lake. I like those too. Sometimes I park near a lake or on a mountain top just so I can experience that kind of solitude. But the solitude among industry is especially significant. Its my one man protest against the isolation this modern world can create.