Finger nails

  A duck walks into a bar and asked the bartender for some grapes.  "We don't sell grapes", huffed the bartender.

  The next day the duck went back into the bar and again asked for grapes. Very irate, the bartender says, "we don't sell grapes!"

  The following day the duck walks into the bar and again asks for grapes. Fed up, the bartender says, "if you come in here again and ask for grapes I am going to nail you to the wall!"

  The next day the duck walks into the bar and asks if they had any nails. The puzzled bartender says, "Well, no, I don't have any nails".

  The ducks says, "Hmm, well then, got any grapes?"

  Dumb joke. But it made for a good transition into nails, finger nails that is!

  About a year ago I stopped chewing my finger nails off. This has been a learning experience. I have never had to trim, file, or clean my nails before. I think I am doing fairly well.

  I like having actual finger nails. I like it when they are clean and well trimmed. Until yesterday.

  I didn't bite them off or anything like that. Instead what happened is, I caught one on a piece of metal and ripped the entire end off. Yowza!

  I had always heard women complain about chipping or breaking a nail. I never understood. So, for all the women who have I would like to say, "That really hurts!" I gotta be more careful.

  Oh well, guess it will grow back. For now, I just have a sensitive finger tip. I kinda wish it had been my middle finger so I could show people. Just kidding!