Today

  Today I began to think about tomorrow and boy did it mess me up. I keep trying to teleport my thoughts into the future just hoping to gain the perspective of what I might find there.

  I don't know how Gods prophets did it. How could they gain access to such information and still function in their "todays". Truth be told, so almost couldn't.

  Take Paul for instance. He was caught up into heaven. He saw the glory and beauty of what is beyond this life. Then he was brought back. He said that he would depart and go back, if he had the choice, but Gods will was for him to help the church today.

  I wonder what my future will hold. If I could have just a vision of it I would likely panic or write a book of what I had seen. I find it curious that Paul did neither. He only mentioned the experience in the third person. Its as if he knew that dwelling on the future only brings heartache into today, no matter how wonderful the future may be.

  I get overly anxious about the future. Some call that "future trippin". That's a good way to look at it. I have come from such depravity and darkness I don't even like approaching spiritual shadows. Yet I allow the future to cast shadows into today.

  Please don't freak out about these thoughts. Normally I try and be much more uplifting. I just need to barf out some of the refuse that I find lurking in my soul. I find that true friends are those whom I share my faults with and they still love me.

  Jesus is such a great deliverer. He has reached into the darkest mire and pulled me out. He is scrubbing me clean. Its a bit like cleaning a septic tank, the "stuff" keeps coming. But He is faithful, He will finish the job.

  I really laughed at that septic tank line! I don't think I could use that in church, but that picture really gets it!