My sleep pattern has been jacked up for the last couple of days. I had to run through the evening when I left Spokane. Then run through the next night. Only to run through yet one more evening.
I am very good at doing this. At no time did I get tired or dangerous. But, I just realised, I was not 100% when I got to the truck fire (see previous blog).
I do feel a bit better now that I remembered all the circumstances I was under. I haven't yet found any articles on what happened, but I am slowly getting more comfortable with my reaction.
A couple of people have written me and shared their support. I think most everyone finds themselves in situations that suprises them, causing them to second guess themselves.
If I have to act quikly, with little planning, I always wonder if I could have done better. I, afterall, am only human, with all the bad that implies. I seek to do Gods perfect will, only to find that I continually fail. Things rarely happen the way I expect. And it is impossible to predict all things. It comforts me to know my own limitations.
It seems God only requires from me the things He knows I can succeed at. My ability is stretched and tested by God. However, He only breaks my will when I am unwilling to serve Him. For this I am thankful.
As with all things in life, I have more knowledge today about how to serve God. I was humbled deeply after this latest fire. The previous fire had caused me to be proud. I wish I wasn't so stubborn and could learn an easier way. Wouldn't that be nice!
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