In the previous blog I questioned how to find Gods will. I have been trying on different ideas and one thing really shined thru. Let me take you back in time, give you more information, and see if you agree.
When I arrived in Portland I had gotten fuel. When I get fuel I sometimes get my spending money (it has no extra fee when you get fuel). My amount I was to get was fifty dollars. Something said, "Get seventy five". It wasn't audible. It was a strong idea though.
I couldn't figure out why I would need an extra twenty five bucks. I had no need for the extra money. My supplies were strong and I had a little money left over. So why the twenty five?
After my encounter with Tricia I began to understand. She was supposed to get the twenty five. Regretfully, I didn't understand this until the next day or two.
I repented of my hardness against The Spirits leading. I had heard people say, "God told me to give you this", but I thought they were full of mushrooms.
Imagine if I had been able to share with Tricia about the leading? I could have told her that God had me get extra money and I didn't know why. She was why.
Oh friends, I feel terrible! My heart sinks at my failure. I am a hard hearted cynical jerk.
The only redeeming thing is that God doesn't rely upon me solely to accomplish his will. That is comforting. Also, I believe God can use me, or at least try to, again in the future.
My prayer now is, "Lord, help me to be sensitive to you leading. Help me remove the blinders of selfishness and do your will".
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