Regret

  There is a statement that was made to me that I will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

  How could that be possible? Of course I wouldn't want to have done those bad things I did. If it were possible to change them, why wouldn't I?

  I suppose it is possible that my future life is so good that I will forget about the past. Not very likely.

  I think the only answer I have come up with is that God will have repaired all the damage, thus freeing me of the torment. As amazing as this sounds, I believe this to be true. 

  In an amazing way I know God can use me and my past to help others. I know that my story may help others to fix their lives. Maybe they also will be wondering about regret and their past.

  I believe someday that I will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. I believe in a complete healing from the Lord. I also believe that my future life will be far better than my past.    

  For now, I still regret the past. And with each day I find new things to regret. Will this end sometime soon? I want to curse and fight sometimes when I think of my past. Is this normal? Why am I so messed up?

  I get a little cynical on occasions. God has given me a sharp mind and I let it get the best of me. I sit and daydream about a future that I hope is possible, rather that do the things today that could bring that hope.

  I read in my Bible about King Josiah. He gave it all to the Lord. He held nothing back. He led the people to turn back to God and tear up all the idols. God even says his heart, soul and might was turned to God more than any other king.

Check it out in 2Kings 23:25

  His reward? He got to die and be with God thus not seeing the destruction of Judah that was coming. God was his reward. I expected God to bless everyone for turning back. I was expecting the story to end by God blessing them by not following thru on the judgement.

  Guess that's yet another reason why I am not God. Like I need to tell you that!

  I wish I could be like Josiah. I wish I could give my all for the Lord. I wish I had his courage. Sometimes I feel so weak and hopeless. 

  The Lord encourages me by telling me to focus on today. As the saying goes, "Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, All we have is today". 

  I don't want to look back a year from now and regret what I was doing today. No matter what may happen or what the future holds, I want to do what God asks.

No regrets.