Am I a hero?

  After listening to the testimony of Louie Zamperini I got some clarity in my life.

  I have been desirous of an event to happen, where I emerge a hero, so that I can hold my head up and know that other men do not think less of me. You see, my life as an alcoholic was filled with lies, deceit, and even criminality.

  People who survive through tramatic events and have a dramtic deliverance are heralded and lauded by the church and society. Can those who caused those horrible things also have the same outcome?

  I am not certain.

  This is where my struggle lies. It is a different thing entirely when someone has victory over self created problems. They are perhaps treated as though it was no victory. In fact, some may even wish that the victory came by some form of punishment.

  God doesn't operate this way. Sure men get punished for there wrong doing, and this is correct, but sometimes God heads straight for grace. This is most evident when one considers hell.

   Will people be able to celebrate my victory? I can't answer this. I have met people who won't. And I have met people who will. I have met people who believe that a victory cannot happen and maybe are praying that one won't.

  Let me sum up by repeating a question. Because my troubles were self-inflicted, will my deliverance be celebrated as much as someone whose problems weren't? In myself they will be.