Cherish

  Cherish illustrates just how messed up I can be. It seems to be good but can also be bad. It depends upon the object being cherished. 

  Let me quote Websters 1828 definition of the word:

CHERISH, v.t.
1. To treat with tenderness and affection; to give warmth, ease or comfort to. "We were gentle among you, even as a nurse cherisheth her children." 1Thess. 2 "The damsel was fair and cherished the king." 1Kings 1
2. To hold as dear; to embrace with affection; to foster, and encourage; as, to cherish the principles of virtue; to cherish religion in the heart.
3. To treat in a manner to encourage growth, by protection, aid, attendance, or supplying nourishment; as, to cherish tender plants.
4. To harbor; to indulge and encourage in the mind; as, to cherish ill will, or any evil passion.

  So it is fair to say that I have always "cherished" something. I am sad to report that I have not always cherished the correct things.

  When I misplace my cherishing, I haven't lived up to what I promised my bride or God.

  One of the traditional wedding vows calls for the newlyweds to "love and cherish" each other. So the message being told is, love is different than cherish.

  So this really messed up my understanding of cherish. I thought it was synonymous with love. Turns out, its not. The two are similar but not the same.

  Love carries with it the idea to give of self. To be selfless. To think about the other. That is why "charity" works so well in delivering the true meaning of love. It can imply other things, but selflessness tops my list when defining love. 

  Cherish carries the idea of desire. To cherish something is to desire it. To cherish your spouse is to place your desires on them. To be precise it means that your spouse is your desire. Not the things they do, but who they are.

  Of course this is within the bounds of worshiping God. Placing our love and cherishment upon the Lord is paramount. And it leads to placing those same affections upon ones spouse.

  So what's the battle here, you may be asking? Simple. I thought cherishing, in marriage, meant to share my wifes desires. Nope. It means to desire my wife.

  She should be my fantasy. She should be the one my eyes find pleasing. She is the one who I hope to win. She is to be my human point of contact for worshiping God!

  Overboard on that last one? Hardly. Think about it. God has placed in my life his daughter. He loves her so much, he died for her. She is the pinnacle of Gods creation and He entrusts her with me. Could I overstate how important it is that I cherish her? No way.

  Oh how my heart breaks when I think about this. I have failed to cherish her.

  How do I learn to cherish? It can be learned. The Bible says that I am to give of myself for my bride the way Jesus has given himself for his. Spectacular! That's the way! He desires us. Not the things we do, just us. Wow!

  So, the gift to my wife is me. Its a bit like fuzzy bunny pajamas for Christmas. Nice thought, but is it what my wife really wanted? That's the point!

  Loving her is about becoming the perfect gift. So when she gets the gift it is beyond all she could have imagined. Cherishing her is opening "her" present and having it be everything I wanted. 

  I droned on a bit. I am just now starting to understand cherishing. I am beginning to cherish things that others take for granted. Things I took for granted.

  I have many people I cherish. Have I shown them I do? Love and cherish. Giving and enjoying. Go for it!