Emergency instructions

  We have all flown on commercial airlines. Well, at least most of us have, perhaps many times even. Remember those instructions the stewardess, oops forgot my political correctness, um flight attendant, would give out at the beginning of the flight?

  The review would include where the escape hatches were. What to do in case of smoke entering the cabin. How to disarm a devout muslim (no need to worry about the backslidden ones! Aww c'mon its a joke right?). Water landing instuctions. The seat bottom doubles as a floatation device. You remember them, right? Me neither.

  Turns out, we don't pay attention too well to things we don't think will happen.

  Today I listened to a show and the lady spoke about one of those instructions. She had been in a destructive relationship and kept trying to "fix" the dude. Want to know the instruction that helped her?

  If the cabin loses pressure, or smoke fills the plane, air masks will fall from the ceiling. Place the mask over your face then wrap the straps around your head. (Here is the important bit) If you are taking care of someone who will need your assistance putting on their mask, put yours on first then put theirs on.

  Understand this, you must be in safety before you can rescue someone else. If not, you both might not make it.
  I could spin this into a great metaphor for our Christian life, but you have already thought of an application that works for you. Follow the safety instructions dear friend. Another emergency is likely to happen again.

Count em up

  Remember the childrens song, "Count your blessings, name them one by one"?

  I am just sitting here marveling at the great mercy God has given in my live. A little over one and a half years ago I thought my life was over, friends would be gone, and my family would have disowned me.

  Sure there are those "friends" who are no longer my friends. And, there are family members who have no idea what to think and thus might choose to remain upset. But my life, it has never ever been this good.

  Today I have a loving relationship with God. I think about spending time with him in the same terms I think about spending time with my bride. I imagine a lifelong romance with my creator.

Let me explore this thought a bit. Do a lil' compairing. 

  My bride is a gorgeous woman. She has captivated my thoughts as well as my eyes. I daydream about her often. I know that I know her but a little. My desire is to know her more and more with each passing day. When she smiles my heart blossoms. When her eyes twinkle at me I almost faint. Ohh baby!

  I have been asking God what I could do to develope the same "practical" love for him. I see my wife's beauty and I adore her, in what sense can I have this towards God? What is the equivalent to holding hands with my bride? Can I hold hands with God?

  I really would like to know what this should look like. I look out and God's creation and I see magnificent beauty, but that isn't Him. Just like I see my wife's beauty, but that isn't her. I want to know the genuine beauty, that alluring love that God created. 

  How is God's love for me supposed to be similar to my love for my bride?

  Jesus commands me to submit to my wife and sacrifice myself for her. Pour out my life for her. He says my prayers will be hindered if I fail to do this. Yikes, I don't want hindered prayers! I am to love her as Christ loves the church. Christ loved me BEFORE I loved him. Radical! What a great love he gave. I must try and give this love towards my bride even when she doesn't love me back. But, God will always love me back. 

  Back to the idea of spending time with God. I am a romantic. I like waterfalls, flowers, sunsets, all that gooey stuff. I like having my wife next to me in those romantic times. How can I create a romance between me and God.

  I am not trying to be weird here. I simply want romance with God. To be enamored with Him. Maybe I should write Him a poem or psalm. Perhaps I should take Him on a walk. We could enjoy a sunset together. Now I am getting the picture! Take God with me wherever I go, but specifically, take him places I want to take my wife.

  I got off the target of talking about blessings. I really needed to express myself about romance. I gotta go find a beach, lake, or stream, and take God on a nice walk. Spend the time just talking with Him. Ask Him what things please Him. Then ask Him where we should go on our next date. I am sure He has some wonderful ideas.

 

Bad teeth and sour grapes

Ezekiel 18:2 - "What mean ye, that ye use this proverb concerning the land of Israel saying, The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children's teeth are on edge?"

  The idea that God is getting across is that my basic desire to blame others (specifically parents) has to be stopped. Until I take responsibility, no progress in my relationship to God will be found. Tough words indeed!

  But does it make sense? I mean, obviously the decisions made by the parents will have a factor in what happens to the kid. If the dad is mean, lazy, isolationist, lying, sexually immoral, etc..., wouldn't it make sense his child would be as well? I would think so.
  Here is the thing to take notice of, the children in this chapter (Ez 18) are having communication with God. In this world many things that we do can be traced back to our upbringing. God understands that. He says that the Gentiles are a law unto themselves. Hence, if you were born a Gentile, you would not know the Law of God. But God gives you the law on your heart and then you must choose to obey.

  So then, when we start communicating with God, He is the perfect judge. He knows when we do things by our invisible upbringing or when we do them by rebellion. To rebel against what we know is right is sin. 

  We may look at our employment, education, housing, car, habits, etc..., and think, "My parents are to blame". Blame for what? Not having as nice of things as I think I should.

  Were we commanded to worry about what we wear, what we eat, or where we live? Just checking. 

  Let us use the perfect example. Jesus. His father was The Father. He came into our world, not by demand, but by choice. Jesus lived a much rougher life than mine. Then, out of his own volition, died on the cross. At that very moment the payment for every sin ever committed was paid for. That is really taking the sour grapes thing to the extreem! Jesus really did have to pay for what everyone else did. The payment was huge.

  Did Jesus complain during any of this? Was he bitter that this was going to happen?

  I am not saying we should imitate Jesus and sacrifice ourselves. Sometimes we should, but that's not the point of this blog.

  The point is, when we start communicating with God, He holds us accountable for our actions. We better get this correct here and now, for the Bible teaches that we store up judgement for the day of wrath. Sort of an unholy savings account, each sin is a new deposit and we sure like to save up those points! Stop saving up wrath dear friend. Jesus paid it all.

  So, mom and dad, I guess I should stop blaming you. You likely blame yourself enough for the both of us. My life is what I have made it. My choices, my problems.

  Today I choose to follow God. He promises that if I will give my life to him, he will take good care of it. I will never be alone and I will have nothing I need to worry about. That's an awesome promise!

Picking at wounds

  Why is it in my life I like to scratch at my fresh wounds? I am often obsessed with picking at my scabs, not just in a figurative way.

  The real scabs I would receive from my adventures in childhood were lots of fun to pick at. Heck, I still do! My mom would tell me things like, "Stop picking at them, if you don't you will get scars". Boys love scars. Chicks dig them!

  This reminds me of that old elementary school joke. The one with the little girl eating corn flakes only to have her little brother ask if she had seen his scab collection he had misplaced.

  I need to stop being gross in these blogs. Everyone will stop reading them. Guess my humor is twisted!

  Back to the concept at hand.

  When wounded emotionaly or spiritualy, I tend to take a sadistic pleasure in picking at my wounds. I play the scenario over and over again. It is as if I enjoy revelling in the pain.

  This happens worst when I get into a depressive cycle. One of the hallmarks of depression is thinking only in absolutes. "Things will NEVER get better". "I ALWAYS mess up". "Never" and "Always" thinking is a sure sign that I am slipping into a funk. Then begins the picking of the scabs.

  What can be done about it? When I catch myself getting into thinking only in absolutes, I must remember that God is the only unchanging absolute. He never changes. His love for me is as full and bright today as it ever was in the past.

  The opposite of depression is called "manic". I am a somewhat depressive but not so much a manic. But I would like to throw in a thought about mania that I relate to.

  A sure sign of mania is thinking only in grandeous thoughts. "I will ALWAYS be doing this good". "I am the BEST". "Failure will NEVER happen again". Notice the similarity to depression? They are polar opposites, hence the term "Bi-polar". They used to be called manic depressives.

  I relate to mania and depression. I don't swing into the extreems that a bi-polar will, but I have the tendency to think great thoughts sometimes and horrible thoughts at others.

  Let me bring it back around to the scab picking. I tend to either pick at my wounds and think that healing won't happen OR I see my scars and think that I will never be wounded again. Neither are true.

  I hope this makes sense. I don't think I will ever be able to write in a way you can understand. Then again, I think I write better than anybody. Oh no, there I go again!

   I am going to eat a bowl of cornflakes and try and figure this out. I don't have a little brother, I should be fine.  

 

Bad singing in church

Here's a singer that should make you feel better if you don't think you sing well. I just hope the video has been dubbed over or was just a guy making a silly video, cause I mean like really! Oh well, have fun and smile. This should be a ring tone!

Anger management

  A good friend and I were discussing the finer points of being angry. The general conclusion we came to was, God doesn't want us to be angry about anything except those things that attack our brothers or God. Now, God is tough and can handle himself, so I guess that leaves our brothers (this includes our families).

  Suppose we have a brother that is being taught that he could lose his salvation. The person teaching that is a heretic. The bible commands us to stand up to a heretic, then if he doesn't listen, leave him alone.

  Let's explore a Biblical example of anger being used correctly. Peter, the apostle, was spending time with the Paul and the gentiles. The bible teaches that Peter was excersizing the freedom the gentiles enjoyed by eating with them.

  It is a heresy to teach that what you eat or drink has any bearing on salvation. "How" you eat or drink might have something to do with salvation. But only in the sense of repentance of sins and turning to Christ. If you are a drunk, you must repent of drunkeness. You may or may not succeed in stopping drinking, but you must repent.

  Back to Peter. He is enjoying the liberty of the gentiles. Bacon double cheeseburger please! Then along comes his old buddies, the circumcision guys. Peter abandons his gentile friends and cuddles up to the legalists. Behold, Peter the lap dog.

  Paul is furious. He strips Peter down by pointing out the hypocrisy. Basically, if Peter wanted to be a legalist, so be it, but if he wanted liberty, stand for that like a man.

  So you see, it can be ok to display a bit of anger. Let's explore the other side, reasons anger can be bad.

  If we get angry about anything going wrong that we helped cause, we are in sin. Read that again you manly man! Did you help cause the problem? You have no right to be angry about it. Period!

  Does this really need to be explained? I don't want to place any examples here. I don't want to hurt anyones feelings. Suffice to say, if you helped cause the problem, have sympathy towards those who are struggling thru those consequences.

  Ok, I just thought of a good example. Suppose a man is a farmer. Year after year he let's the weeds slowly take over the farm. One day he looks up, recognizes the destruction, and gets to work fixing the problem.

  His wife and kids start pulling weeds and helping. But they tire quickly and want to be done. Perhaps they aren't very good at weed pulling and don't accomplish much. The man begins to get upset that the family isn't pulling weeds like they should. 

  HOW DARE THAT MAN BE ANGRY WITH THEM! HE CAUSED THE PROBLEM!

  Ok calm down Josh. I just get pissed at myself because I did this kind of crap to my own friends and family. I feel like a turd for doing it. All around me I see men doing the same thing. Heartbreaking.

  Wow, how did I end up here in my writing. I am a little angry. Is it good anger or bad?

  We men have forgotten what gentleness is. When real men get frustrated at the weeds they start pulling the weeds. If the family doesn't join them, he cries out to God for mercy on the family. He is gentle and strong, knowing the "wrath of weeds" he has brought upon his family.

  This goes back to the medic or warrior discussion. A warrior should be pissed off, it helps him whack heads off! A medic should be gentle, knowing the pain of the wounded.

  Choose your anger wisely dear reader. Anger can be productive but it also can be profoundly destructive. Be careful.      

  

Injured brothers

  Addictions are very difficult to overcome. Trusting God with recovery from addiction requires complete honesty and a commitment to do the things that God indicates to do. God will place us well outside of our comfort zone, so it involves a lot of pain. The thing is, our comfort zone is the wrong place to be. Placing our faith in God to carry us thru the discomfort of recovery creates a new "comfort zone". "The Comforter Zone". God's Holy Spirit.

  I bring all this up because of a brother who has stumbled. I, and others, hadn't heard from him for a while. We hoped he was doing well. He wasn't. His relapse is heartbreaking. I wanted so much to shake him and warn him that there was danger ahead. But, he wanted to trust worldy solutions to spiritual problems. 

  Its a tough dilema figuring out the balance between caring enough to say something and being overbearing. When someone isn't reaching out for the help that they should want, it breaks my heart. Are we responsible to beg or plead with someone to get right before God? Unfortunately, nope.

  Our responsibility is to love, care, pray, and exhort our fellow brothers. We are to encourage them unto good things. If they stumble, it is NOT our responsibility to kick them at all. We are medics to our brothers and warriors to our enemies. 

  Truth be told, we sometimes are amazed that others aren't where we are spiritualy. This very fact is the peak of pride. We assume they aren't where we are because we are so much better than they. That is why the bible tells us to check ourselves before helping our brothers lest we fall as well. Remember, pride comes before a fall. Our pride says, "They fell cause they don't love God like I do". Be careful with those thoughts, dear reader. God takes a dim view of proud people. 

  I must love and pray for my brother. He is bruised and battered. He is going toe to toe with a great enemy and he can be victorious in Christ. It is not a question of him knowing Christ (he professes faith), it is a question of trusting God's word to do what it says it will do.

  So, I will carry my weak brother. I do this because I love him and I want God to be glorified.

  We battle as men. God's men. The only people who don't get injured in a war are the people who aren't fighting. So let's not pretend that an injured brother isn't a warrior, let's bandage him up, give him his weapon, and get back to fighting! Hoo-rah! Semper fi!   

Having a cold

  There is a lot that sucks about having a cold. I am presently getting over one. I think I get sick far less than other people. This cold almost wiped me out. I was able to function but when I got the chance to get some sleep, I took it. I think I slept about 15 hours out of the last 24. Impressive for a guy who hates being sick.

  My personality is of such that I don't like weakness in myself. I have only called in sick to work, and was sick, once in my memory. I don't think of being sick as a weakness, I just manage to fight thru the junk better than some.

  I didn't want to go into a big diatribe about sickness and how different people cope with it. No really, I didn't. I wanted to bring up something that really disturbes me about sickness and I have never heard mentioned before. It can't be unique to me! But who knows. Let's see:

  My sinus' are clearing up. It is nice to be able to nose breathe again. I felt like such a nose drooling mouth breather yesterday. Yucko!

  Here's the thing. When I lay down to sleep my sinus passageways sometimes "pop" or "crackle". If they "snapped" as well, I would call it breakfast. Tasty!

  It is disturbing. My head keeps making all these funky sounds. I can't sleep with all the noise. Am I alone in this? I am sure that there must be others who hear sounds when their nasal passages are getting cleared up.

  Sorry to gross you out. Just being real here. Our bodies are fabulous creations of a marvelous God. Sometimes I just smile at the goofiness of being human.

  One more quick thing.

  I remember another sinus thing that happened years ago. I had a cold. I went to work (I was a roofer at the time). My sinus' were compacted and I was miserable.  Sometime during the day I reached down to grab a coil of nails, just when my brother-in-law was looking, my sinus' drained. Looked like perhaps a 1/2 cup of clear liquid (I didn't have a measuring devise on hand, use your best judgement with this recipe). Have you ever had that happen? Clear liquid just pouring out your nose like that? You ought to hear my brother-in-law share the story. His perspective was slightly different than mine!

  Anyways. Enough of the goofy talk. Lemme know if you hear noises or have water shoot out your noses when you are sick!   

P.S.  Mom, if you made it this far without being grossed out I am so happy! Usually talks like this end up with you thinking of refunding dinner! Hehe

A holy kiss

  The verses that say that we should greet each other with a holy kiss have always been perplexing to me. We know that kissing a ring is wrong, but what is right? I believe I saw an example tonight.

  Church had just ended. We are making our way thru the foyer. The preacher comes zipping past with a pat on my back and a nice "hello". (No the kiss isn't with me!) 

  The preacher has a target he seems to be heading for. Its a young couple and he is going to comfort them or something. They seem very shook up. 

  Before he gets to the young couple he sees a friend. Its a tough looking, northern Idaho, manly man, complete with camoflage. The preacher says hi to the guy in passing and plants a big ole smootcher on the dude's cheek!

  I know, I know, Dudes hugging and cheek kissing, fag me out like really. But this wasn't that at all. What seemed to transpire was a demonstration of great brotherly love in Christ. It was awe inspiring.

  I instantly recognised a deep care those two manly men had for each other. Clearly they had carried each others burdens thru many hard times over perhaps many years.

  All this from a kiss? You had to be there. I know I did, even if just to witness those obscure verses actually put to use. What an evening at church! God really does know what He is doing.

Liar!

  "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" speaks about a man called into a courtroom to give testimony. They were worried he would not share the truth so they gave him some truth syrum. When asked to share "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth", he started talking. Trouble is, they had gotten the amount of syrum wrong. He had been given too much! And so, he started sharing the truth. They ran screaming away, put barricades up to block the entrance to the court, and surrounded the court with an army just so people would not have to hear the truth.

There was a funny bit about frogs tho!

  Seriously. Can you imagine a syrum that could make you tell the whole truth? Even truth you didn't know?

  As christians we believe that the Holy Spirit is that syrum. Why then do we struggle about being honest? We lie about our sinful past (pre and post salvation). We lie about our faithfulness. We lie about our devotion. We lie about our present struggles. WHY?

  Why do we pretend that if we lie Gods will will be somehow done better? We convince ourselves that a lie can produce results that the truth can't! If I lie about my testimony, paint the past a little prettier, make my life seem more holier, my testimony will somehow be better. You fool!

  I struggle with my own lies. I don't like the things I have done and I would rather lie about them. I almost convinced myself that lies would serve the greater good.
  How can I give testimony to Gods grace and mercy if I lie about me? God does not honor lies, no matter the motivation. 

  So I will purpose in my life to be directly honest. I do not have the right to damage others by my honesty, so I must be careful. But I am tired of telling myself, "Just hide who you are and what you have done, God will be glorified!"  It is a damn lie! God has not authored me to lie.

  Do I like the idea of sharing this way? Nope. Will God honor my work if I hide the truth? Nope.

  Eventually I would like to help others by my experiences. If I chose to, I could lie and present a glorious picture of grand change that swept my life and made me so very good. Who would that help? The very person I would be sharing with will think himself a failure if he doesn't get the same results. When I lie and present myself more honorable than I actually am or was, God cannot use me. This salt will have lost its savor. 

Buffoonery

  Ever eat so much foot you taste ankle? I feel like I have a really bad case of foot in mouth disease. How is it that I can say the dumbest things at just the wrong moments. Its not like I want to be a buffoon, I just have a knack.

  Here is what its like, I get upset or confused, I say something mean or dumb, Rinse and repeat.

  Or, I say a joke that turns up being just a bit outside the line of safe for human consumption. I am not talking lascivious here, just politically incorrect. 

  Can this be unlearned? I really should slow down sometimes. People could be hurt by my foot suddenly flying towards my mouth! Watch out! I am one nimble foot eating dummy!

Observations

  Today I intentionally tried observing things. This is becoming more and more common for me. I am not a person who naturally thinks about what I am seeing.

  So tonight I observed snowmen sitting in windows. I was attending a support group and began to look around and actively try and observe my surroundings, that's when the snowmen popped up. 

  There was a large (fake) Christmas tree with red ornaments. There was a wreath with a bright red bow in the center top. The curtains on the windows were holly print. 

  However, the cutest things were the snowmen. They sat on the window ledges looking out, well, one was looking in (rebel snowman!). There were five windows, each with its own snowman. The snowmen were stuffed crochet. They had beady little black eyes. They had on red sweaters. They weren't the traditional three stage type. These just had a belly and head, kind of white weeble wobble snowmen, only they didn't webble or wobble.

  I was called on to share. I commented on my desire to be more observant. I mentioned the snowmen. Everyone looked at the windows. I could tell they hadn't noticed them. They, like me, tend to go thru life and never truly look around. I sure miss out on a lot of wonderful blessings because I fail to notice the grandeur God has provided. Keep on looking!
 

Adventure

  Here we are beginning a new year. 2012. The possibilities are unlimited. The prognosticators are envisioning all sorts of goofy things. I will be Joshua, you be who you are, but let's be frank, God has already planned what will happen. It is our duty to be faithful to the adventure.

  Having just completed The Chronicles of Narnia again, I am humbles by C.S. Lewis' observations about life's adventures. Something unexpected would happen in the books and some member of the cast would be grateful to be on the adventure, even when facing perilous situations.

  In my own life these adventures were never welcomed.
  I remember travelling towards Oregon from Spokane. I missed the turn off at Ritzville. Of course I blamed my wife for the missed turn. I hope I was gentle about it, most likely I wasn't. Harsh words or attitude towards the most gentle soul I ever met. Damn me.

  Then we took the next road heading the correct direction. We discovered this little Indian town. We saw beautiful scenery. The detour was awesome! Too bad I wasn't grateful for the unexpected adventure.

  This difficulty is in my heritage. I don't know of anybody in my family who could get detoured and think it a grand thing.

  So that's my new resolution. I resolve to enjoy where God sends me, even when I didn't know that's where I wanted to go.

Running to win

  I like Paul's comparison of living for God to that of running a race to win. We all imagine approaching the end of our life and hearing God compliment us on what we have done. Well, at least we want to imagine it that way! 

  I have a little history with running. It started in highschool running cross country for Riverside Christian High. I have many fun memories of running on the team, but perhaps the most memorable was the first "Cross country meet".

  It was held in Hesperia. Hesperia was a high desert city, very dry, and awfully hot. The course was about three miles long (as all cross country styles are). The course went thru a series of ravines, turned right, went up a hill, thru a sandtrap, back down the hill, across the ravines, and finally done.

  We psyched ourselves up. I had no real experience with running so far. I had only been to a couple of practices. There were quite a few schools represented their, so many that they had to stagger the starts. My team was on the second or third start.

  And we were off! Jason (our teams indian super-runner) blasted forward to an early lead. I valiantly fought my way to the back of the pack.

  We turned and headed up the hill. Still we were all running in a pack. Then the sand. It was as if all energy I thought I had was sucked right out of me. The sand pit was huge and I could see the leaders starting to head back down the hill. I began to walk.

  My friend Jimmy started to walk also. We comforted each other on our failings and walked together. We would jog for a while, get winded, and walk again. Finally we made it back down the hill. All that remained was the few ups and downs of the ravines.

  We could start making out the finish line. Behind us we saw the next races runners coming down from the sand trap. Panic set in. What if we finished after the next group of runners? This could not happen!

  Jimmy and I started running. As we got closer to the finish, I became aware we were racing to see who would be last. We had come to an agreement before that we would try and tie, but now that was thrown out. We were really racing!

  When we came up on the finish the people stretched a ribbon across for us to run thru. How very nice! We blasted our way thru to the cheers of the crowd. I don't know who won.

  Then it all became clear. They thought we were the first to finish in the next race! The people who actually finished first had been robbed of their glorious finish by us!

  I guess we should have given back the ribbons for first and second place.

  Okay, I am just kidding! We sheepishly told the event staff what had happened. They made no big deal about it.

  Running to win is what I try to do now. If I must pass out in the sand pits of life, I will continue pressing on to the glory of God. No first place in the second race will do.

You are so dreamy

  As dreams go, this one was extreemly realistic. It involved a picnic and family reunion. There was the normal confusion that comes when dreaming but there was three very poiniant things.

  The first was a house I came across while shopping at yard sales. This yard sale seemed normal at first, but I began to notice some very familiar things. There were pictures of my family from years gone by. Aunts, uncles, grandparents, and other extended family. That's when I began to notice the contents of the sale, everything was in perfect condition and everything belonged to someone in my family. Toys, tools, photos, it was all there. I ran and got my family and they came and looked. The thing that stands out in my mind was a purple bike with chrome trimmings. The bike looked like it was from the 1950's.

  Next came a bike ride. Nobody had the purple bike. Everyone was going to ride into town, get some lunch, and shop at the downtown stores. Somehow it took me a while to get back to the picnic area and when I arrived someone else was riding my bike and everyone was gone. I was left behind.

  This began the third thing. I had some friends and my wife try and explain why I couldn't go on the ride (why weren't they on the ride? Dreams!). Whatever they said made sense to them, not me. It seems that there was not enough bikes and I was the logical choice to leave out. I asked if anybody seemed sad that I couldn't go. This question upset my wife.

  I don't have the ability to write down all the nuances of my dream. It had great volumes of information. Moments that I felt terror and others where I felt loneliness. Many people talked with me. I was unable to process what was said.

  Dreams aren't reliable as a source of information. We can understand a little about issues in our life, but only a little. God can inspire dreams, I don't think He inspired this one. That being said, let me try and interpret this dream a little. Oh boy what fun!

  The house full of memories was my way of imagining my families past. It was so cool seeing all the toys of my distant relatives.

  The bike ride was a picture of this Christmas. I was unable to be around for Christmas and it emerged in a dream.

  I left something out of the last part. My wife and I went on a long walk. Oh boy was she upset! She was incredulous as to why I didn't understand about the bike ride. I just couldn't get it. I've never seen her so mad! I think this part deals with my fear of being unaware of others feelings. That's my guess anyways.

  Dear friend, dreams can't always be trusted. They are at best figures of issues we face. When a dream has as much information as this one did it freaks me out. Most dreams are stored in short term memory and they fade fast after I awaken. This one has staying power. It exposes my fears and hopes.

  It would be cool to find a house of memories tho!

 

Merry Christmas

  I am looking out at a landscape lightly dusted by snow. The hustle and bustle of the season seems to have taken a lull.

People are perhaps in church singing familiar carols. They are expressing what God gave them that first Christmas so long ago.

  Families are preparing for a meal. They are hoping old arguments (or new ones) won't be visiting this year.

  Loners and outcasts are wondering what happened to all the Christmas joy they heard so much about. They wonder just how this season should actually work. Perhaps they are bitter. Most likely they are hurting. 

  For me, this is a very special Christmas. God has sewn up my broken heart. There are many things I wish I could do today, yet God has given me great things I can do.

  I approach today full of strength. Oh no, my friend, not mine by Gods. I am on this journey of life knowing that my GPS works perfect (Gods Provisioning Spirit). I shall not get lost.

  Joseph and Mary began their journey to Bethlehem with great valor and courage. They had been asked of God to set apart their lives and bring The Saviour into the word. No small task to be sure.

  Amid the birthing scene were plenty of dumb beasts. It was a stable after all. I am happy to proclaim that I am also a dumb beast that marvels at God coming into human life. Praise God!

  Amazingly God has sent shepards into my life, just as he sent them to Mary and Joseph. They had heard the message of salvation and brought it to me. Destitute of anything good in my life Jesus has brought joy and peace into this wretched sinner.

  So, why do I wish you a merry Christmas? Because God desired me one. Celebrate this Christmas! 

The Plinth

  Christmas is upon us (sneaks up quickly, huh). The sights, sounds, and memories surround us this very special time of year. As Christians, we place very special meanings on everything we do for the holiday.

  Without lights, eggnog, decorations, a tree, presents, or anything we would recognize as "Christmas", The Lord Jesus stepped into human form as a baby. He took upon himself this humanity so that he could purchase our freedom. Fully man and fully God, Jesus came into the world and we celebrate that fact.

  Oh sure, we get lost in the hustle and bustle of the season. Zooming thru stores we seldom remember why in fact we are there. We don't often think about sharing our rejoicing, we get mired in the process of giving. Bah humbug. On the other hand, sometimes life is really rough at Christmas and we have pain, unspeakable pain.

  How then, O Lord, shall we rejoice in the midst of our lifes turmoils? He answers gently, "Cast your cares upon me".

  We must lay hold upon the precious gift ,take this season and its burdens, and give gifts like God gave his gift.

  And Rejoice! When we sing or dance during this season let it be fervently. Let the love from above produce in us great joy. Eric Ludy said, "Don't pray that you will have joy, rather pray that the God of Joy will fill you. Don't pray that you will have peace, pray that the God of peace will fill you!"  We don't seek an artificial joy and peace, we want the real thing.

  The Prince of Peace came into our world! Humbly, as a baby, he arrived. Perfect love he carries. All joy is in his arms. 

So:
Decorate for Jesus,
Give gifts for Jesus,
Send cards for Jesus,
Sing songs to Jesus,
Dance for Jesus,
Have a feast for Jesus,
Getting the idea yet?
Do it ALL for Him.

  Oh what great love Jesus bestowed upon us! I erect a plinth in my life. The plinth is simply, "Do all things thru Christ who strengthens me", including Christmas. Upon this plinth, I ask God to erect a man who loves God back and communes with Jesus continually. 

  Join me in a prayer.

  Wonderful Counselor, Almighty God,
  I ask you to fill me with your peace and joy. I give gifts, cards and love to others as an expression of your great gift to me. Help me to place you at the center of Christmas. Renew my love for the festivities and bind my heart with gratitude this Christmas. Thank you Lord for your precious gift.  In Jesus name, amen.  

 

"Velveted paws"

  I am currently reading The Chronicles of Narnia again. This will be my second time thru them. Actually, it will be my third, seeing as my momma read them to me as a child.

  Let me say, my momma gave me a tremendous gift by reading them to me as a child. I remember being so frightened of Tumnus and wondering if Lucy was being dumb by going with him. Do you suppose me mom saw my fear? She opened up my mind and sent me on a journey. When I read the series today I marvel at how quickly the story develops. As a child, the story was much longer. Or maybe my mom took her time reading the story, cherishing every moment. Thank you mom!

  In the first book, "The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe", Lucy describes something wonderful about Aslan. She observes that Aslan's paws were huge and that he "velveted them".  

  I caught the imagery straight away. I could just picture those massive paws being soft, yet dangerous. Speaking about Aslan, Mr. Beaver observed that Aslan isn't safe but he is good. If Aslan had extended his claws, he could have ripped apart those around him. 

  This speaks volumes about our God. His touch is gentle as well as terrifyingly strong. He keeps His claws in when dealing with friends. Watch out if you are an enemy!

  Our God is not like a kitten that accidently extends their claws all the time. God doesn't sharpen His claws on our furniture or drapes.

  Many people have attempted to de-claw our Lord. They are terrified of judgement and attempt to satisfy their fears by imagining that there is no god or that god does not judge sin. 

  Or, perhaps they think that God is all love. They can see His velvet touch on His friends and assume He touches everyone that way.

  Dear reader, please understand, God is both. He is loving, yet terrible. Gentle and strong. My prayer is that you find His gift so that you can avoid those claws. They are frightening!

  Thank you Lord for showing me your salvation. Thank you for paying my penalty. The price you paid was extreem. It would have taken me forever to pay for my sin, just like the Bible said.

  Velvet paws. Thank God for velveted paws.  

A "changing" phone call

  My former pastor used to speak about life changing events. He would explain that, at any moment, a phone call could come in and the rest of your life would be different. These past seventeen months have been one phone call after another.

  Truth be told, I didn't really understand what he was talking about at the time. I couldn't grasp how life changing a few moments could be.

  I had such a phone call again, about two hours ago. A huge, thick, fog decended on my mind.

  I won't share what the phone call was about. Rather, I will try and walk thru the emotions in this blog. Perhaps ending with some hope. Ready?

  For a few minutes I was in shock. The feelings of running away came back real fast. The desire to freak out was overwhelming. Using the advice given to me, I began making phone calls.

   At last, someone answered. I explained the developments and listened to their concerns and insights. It really helps just talking it out. When the conversation ended, I began to see a little clearer. The fog was giving way to brilliant rays of light. I dwelt there a little longer and moved on.

  I am expecting a phone call with more clarification tomorrow. That also contributes to my frustration. I can add so much drama to a situation, when I get to invent details.

  I poured myself a bowl of cereal. A lifeless bowl of high fiber and low taste. (why is it those type cereals seem interesting now?)  I am getting old. Wiser? Nope, just older.

  Anyways, I went to pray over the meal. Then it struck me upside my thick brain, why didn't I go to God first? Into my prayer closet I went. I explained the situation to God and gave Him complete reign over the outcomes.

  Folks, this is not normal behavior for me. I was control. I want answers. I want security. Me me me!

  The comfort God gives is quite powerful. Right now, I am calm. My creator loves me and knows how to take care of me. Full clarity restored. The brilliance of Gods love burned off any foggy residuals that were left. Oh the warmth that is felt when you emerge from a bank of fog into full sunlight!

  Perhaps next time I should call God first.
   

Prayers for Tricia part two

  In the previous blog I questioned how to find Gods will. I have been trying on different ideas and one thing really shined thru. Let me take you back in time, give you more information, and see if you agree.

  When I arrived in Portland I had gotten fuel. When I get fuel I sometimes get my spending money (it has no extra fee when you get fuel). My amount I was to get was fifty dollars. Something said, "Get seventy five". It wasn't audible. It was a strong idea though.

  I couldn't figure out why I would need an extra twenty five bucks. I had no need for the extra money. My supplies were strong and I had a little money left over. So why the twenty five?

  After my encounter with Tricia I began to understand. She was supposed to get the twenty five. Regretfully, I didn't understand this until the next day or two.

  I repented of my hardness against The Spirits leading. I had heard people say, "God told me to give you this", but I thought they were full of mushrooms.

  Imagine if I had been able to share with Tricia about the leading? I could have told her that God had me get extra money and I didn't know why. She was why.

  Oh friends, I feel terrible! My heart sinks at my failure. I am a hard hearted cynical jerk.

  The only redeeming thing is that God doesn't rely upon me solely to accomplish his will. That is comforting. Also, I believe God can use me, or at least try to, again in the future.

  My prayer now is, "Lord, help me to be sensitive to you leading. Help me remove the blinders of selfishness and do your will".

Who would?

  I was just sitting here pondering sentence structuring. Bizarre habit? Yep! Some sentences can only be understood completely if the are in written form. Consider:

Who would Mary marry?
Who would marry Mary?

For fun:

Who would merry Mary marry?
Who would marry merry Mary?

Can you think of others? Have fun!
 

Prayers for Tricia

  I met Tricia in Tacoma a couple of days ago. I was walking into the truck stop and she asked me for a couple of dollars to help with gas. I asked her what was going on. She told me that she needed to get to Portland for a job opportunity. She said that she felt really awkward asking for money and that she was worried that truckers might think she would want to "earn" some money.

  Normally I never give people money. I sensed that I should give her some, so I gave her a fiver and wished her well. I also told her that maybe looking for wedding rings on the fingers of the truckers might be a way to help her with her fears. She showed me her wedding ring and said that she was faithful but unsure if the truckers were. Again, I wished her well and said goodbye.

  Today I am down in Portland. I had a guy ask me for money so he could mail a package. Unique approach to be sure. I told him no then thought back to Tricia. I wondered if she made it. Did I do the right thing?

  Tricia walked up about ten minutes later. She appeared to be really struggling. She said, "I know you helped me once, but things are harder now and I need help getting back to Tacoma."  I told her that I couldn't help her again.

  Tricia stayed at my truck and talked for a bit. Tricia had a prospect for a job in Portland but didn't make it soon enough. The job was given to someone else. She said she was unsure what the future holds. I swallowed my sympathy and wished her well.

  As she walked away, I began to worry for her. How could I wish her well without actually helping? Was God asking me to give her more money? How do you figure this out quickly?

  I said a fast prayer. I realised that I could not stand myself if I did not offer more help. I walked the trucks and found her. I told her, "I get asked all the time by people for money, I never give them any, I can't be sure they aren't being hurt by the money." As I handed her a ten, she truly looked amazed. We talked some more.

  She told me her story. She was taking care of an elderly lady, kind of a home nurse, and the lady passed away. She said that its tough because she is unlicensed. The elderly lady had provided her with an income as well as a place to live. Now she is potentially homeless, jobless and doesn't know what to do.

  She said that she was going to try the shelters. She is scared about those places. She had been in one years ago and was deeply troubled to go back.

  As Tricia started to talk about her former patient, she began crying and missing her. 

  Let me tell you where I am at. I know that Tricia is in a tough place. I wanted to help much more. I asked how much fuel she had. She had enough to make it back to Tacoma. I asked her name then told her I would pray for her.

  I hope Tricia is going to be ok.

  I often find that I have no idea what Gods will is, in these type circumstances. When I mentioned prayer, Tricia looked very hopeful. My prayer is that she knows God and is saved.

  I wrote this blog to remind me to pray for her. Also, I want to pray that God will give me wisdom in these circumstances and that I would faithfully share Him with others. Please join me in these prayers. 

Front beer

  Here is a glimpse into insanity. A relative of mine used to go a buy a six pack of beer and it would last him days or even weeks. Crazy huh?!

  Ok, that's not really the crazy part, this is. I thought he drank like I did, as much as you can as often as you can. I figured that he had found a way how not to show it to others. See, I thought, he would buy a six pack and put it in the fridge and use it to hide his true drinking. Put the alcohol you drink elsewhere and put a six pack of "front beer" on the shelf. Everyone would think you seldom drank! Brilliant!

  Naturally I began to discover that he really didn't drink much. The poor man suffered from a condition of not truly enjoying alcohol to all its glorious potential. Thinking about drinking a beer or two and being like, "Whoa, I think I can feel something, I better stop!"  What a miserable way to drink! The feeling IS the fun!

  Well, I never figured out how to "front" my booze. The stuff was magical, it always vanished. Imagine my horror to discover that normal people don't enjoy blasting brain cells all the time. It was not an act of will power that kept them from drinking like I did, they were just wired funny. My wiring doesn't allow for casual drinking, its all or nothing. I chose nothing. 

  Now I just have to figure out how people put a snack food "front" up.

Dreams part two

  Ever consider the humanity of Christ? You know the stuff: Him being a baby. Was he a good teenager? Were his teeth perfect and straight? Were his baby teeth "wisdom teeth" (there's a joke in there I am sure).

  I got to thinking about my dreams and wondered what Christ's dreams may have been like. My mind is busy figuring things out, he had them all figured out. In my dreams I could do all sorts of amazing things, Jesus was amazing.

  Anyways, I just got to pondering about Jesus and if he ever dreamed in his sleep.

The Tract

  I awoke today and went into the truck stop to wash my face and prepare for the day. When I arrived back at the truck there was a gospel tract in the door handle. I don't know when it was placed there cause I don't use the handle to shut the door.

  The tract was a Chick Tract called, "This was your life". The tract was from a baptist chuch in MO, Missouri right? That tract travelled a long ways to find my door!

  I have only been given a tract once in my life, in person I mean. It was at the Orange Show fairgrounds in San Bernardino, Ca. The guy treated me to a good dose of distain because I was going to the fair. I had told the guy that I was a christian (I wasn't) and he acted like going to the fair was an indication that I was lost. But he tried.

  That is my point, trying. How is it that I could live for 38 years in this country and only have been given one tract in person?

  I know that some places get lots of exposure to tracts. Many people grow weary of having to deal with pushy christian salesmen. I understand.

  However, it is a good thing, as a christian, to have a tract or some sort of literature at the ready to be able to give to someone. The opportunity to hand them to someone seems to just happen sometimes. Regretfully, I have not always been prepared for this eventuality.

  One more side note here. Seat belts fastened and trays in the upright and locked position.

  In Acts chapter three we see Peter and John strolling into the temple. A crippled beggar asked of them an alms. "Alms for the poor, Alms for the poor". Anyways, the apostles were like, "Hey dude, we be broke but here is a healing from Jesus". They offered something the guy needed. He needed money but with health he could get money. Dude healed, problem solved. He knew it was from Jesus and testified as such.

  Here's the thing, we sometimes encounter a beggar and think, "Now here's a fellow who really needs this tract and will be an easy target". Notice the problem? You judged this guy as needing Christ more than others. Also, you likely didn't meet his physical need and rather switched to spiritual without regard to the physical need. If (and this is a huge IF) your concern for this person was placed on you by God, then take the time to meet the need. Money can be dangerous but a burger always delights.    

  Am I clear enough? The beggar is not likely to care about what you say if you don't care about where they are at. Imagine Peter and John handing the cripple a tract and moving on. Would that have been recorded in Gods word? Not likely. Sure we see a miracle performed, but we also see compassion.

  The Holy Spirit can lead us in those type of situations. We encounter beggars all the time, at least I do. If I gave them all even a small amount of money, I would go broke. If I throw Jesus into the equation, suddenly it all works. He will direct me to the ones I can help. Sincerity is the key.

  As I have heard said, "We are all just beggars showing each other where to find The Bread".

Dreams

  I had a dream! Ok, not the exact beginning of a memorable speech, but I did have an unusual one.

  I was thinking, before I went to sleep, what I would say if a judge asked me "Why do you deserve leniency?"  I really struggled with that thought. If I was guilty then I would not "deserve" leniency. Being guilty would make me deserve the penalty.

  My speech would likely include how unworthy of leniency I would be. I, being undeserving, nevertheless would be requesting grace and not justice.

  Justice before God hinges on what someone else has done. If the penalty was paid, as in Jesus, then I would have wanted to strike a deal before court to have Him pay the penalty. This is called, making terms of peace with the judge and the law by the payment of Christ.

  A criminal trial on earth is another matter entirely. Our system does not accomidate another person paying the penalty. We have pardons and commutations, but those are granted without someone actually paying the price.

  So, as a criminal, what would I say if asked "Why do you deserve leniency?"

  Evidently it haunted my dreams. I was placed in the courtroom many times (I kept waking up). Each time I was silent. What could I say? Do you have an answer?

Observation?

  I am trying to be a more observant person. I am somewhat envious of people who have this trait. It seems to me that observant people have a better grasp on life.

  This "grasp on life" doesn't mean that the people are somehow more grounded. I just feel that they enjoy a deeper understanding of things.

  Let me illustrate:

  For the last year and couple months I have let my hair grow out. Its quite long now and that created issues that I was not prepared to face.

  One such issue is washing the hair. I used to be able to scrub my short hair vigorously with my fingers, so much so, even my scalp would get scrubbed. Now if I do this, my hair gets tangled (Uggh).

  Solution! Wet hair, apply soap, brush soap thru hair with hairbrush! Works great with conditioner also.

  What does this have to do with being observant? Heck if I know. I couldn't figure a better lead in to talking about my personal grooming habits.

  Next week on Grooming with Josh: tweezing

Shadows

  In God there is no darkness.

  That statement is a doosie. For many years I have been a shadow walker, content to have enough light to see but never enough exposure to get burned.

  Jesus said that we do not come into the light because our deeds are evil and we don't want them exposed.

  Truth be told, I was a hypocrite. A hypocrite isn't someone who claims to be good, yet still does wrong. A hypocrite is someone, like me, who did wrong and pretended I was doing good. I was a fake Christian.

  I knew all the songs. I cried at the right times. I studied Gods word. I did many outward things that made me appear as a Christian. Inwardly, I was a graveyard, a white washed sepulcher. A tomb with lovely flowers.

  One day the shadows became too dark for me. No longer could I try to grow there. Man does not have a tag that says, "Plant in partial Sonlight". I was attempting to grow in conditions that were unsuitable for life.

  The light is blinding. Let's be real here. It is the toughest thing to do, this walking into the light. It exposes everything. I have yet to see an ICU room that was ill lit.

  It is a gentle light. God illuminates and covers, all at the same time. Step out dear friend, step out. 

Gription

  By forcing "grip" and "traction" together, you end up with this marvelous "gription" word. My mom used to be so annoyed with its usage. She was very kind about it but would ask me, "You know that's not a word, right?"

  How could it not be a word if I just said it? And you knew what it meant? She is right, of course. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it and spoke it often.

  Imagine my shock to find some guys wearing work gloves with the name "Gription" on them! Good on you whoever thought that up!

Boston baked beans and Lemonheads

  Strange title I know. But I went and bought some candy to scratch an itch my sweet tooth was creating. I got to thinking about candy experiences of my life.

  The one I came up with was back in elementary school and my sister was playing softball. My mom and I would sit in the stands and root for my sister.

  Somehow my mom had the money for me to go and get a little candy. This was a real treat for me. Candy money was in limited supply.

  The Boston baked beans were sweet yet had that savory center of nutty goodness. Seeeing as I am not a sweet tooth guy (well sometimes I am) this candy was just about right. I never quite mustered the patience to make it to just the nut. Besides, they had to be enjoyed whole.

  Ah, but the Lemonhead. Sour and sweet. Now, keep in mind, this was before all this new fangled super sour snacks of today. They were potent and we loved them. I would suck on them until all the yellow was gone. You were then left with a white, softish, kinda pop-rockyish piece of candy. When I was patient enough, the white stuff was truly the cats meow.

  Regardless what candy I had chosen there was always one more facinating treat these little boxes would bring. If you opened one end, left the other end closed, put your mouth around the open end and blew, a instant kazoo!

  If you blew too hard the other end would pop open. Too soft and your mom couldn't enjoy those dulcet tones. Invariably the thing would slobber up or fall apart. I bet my mom was grateful that cardboard wasn't permanent.

  So go find a small box of candy and try your hand at making a kazoo. It has to be a box that can be opened then closed again. The glued on both ends kind won't work. Open it, enjoy the treats, close the little lip thingy, and wail. Perhaps call mom and play some for her. I mean why have all the fun to yourself?!

......Correction.....
  I just tried out a small box of Dots (held six Dots). It squeeked a little. The box was too small for some real kazoo action. Perhaps the glued ones can work. They won't blow apart and maybe they will last longer. Won't mom be glad!

.......Correction update.....
  I have tried a few more "glued" boxes. Only the first one ever squeeked. Bummer :b...
 

Christmas lights

  Its beginning to look like Christmas! Well, ok, still a week or two to go. But, I saw the most amazing light display on another truck today.

  There I was, minding my own buisness, and getting fuel in Spokane. This light show on wheels pulls up in the stall next to mine. I was blown away by the lights and garland.

  The driver had a huge smile. The smile seemed to go past the very edges of her face.

  The driver says, "That's six hundred lights, gotta stop at Walmart for more garland. I still have three hundred more lights I need to put on!"

  Nine hundred lights on the truck! Are you kidding me?!

  The driver goes on to explain why the lights are on the truck so early, "I have a dear friend with cancer over in Seattle. I won't get back to see her before Christmas, so I decorated early. I am on my way to see her now."

  The driver went on to say, "Imagine us, we drop the trailer and cruise all around Seattle in a lit up Peterbilt!"

  Yes, I can imagine. I imagine tonight or tomorrow night there will be a couple of old friends laughing, celebrating, and getting lots of attention.

  What a tremendous gift of love!

  

Painful joy

  Recovery has been painful and joyful, sometimes at the same moments. One such moment is the holidays.

  Yesterday, while doing my shopping, I noticed wonderful christmas music playing. I sang along, chirping and dancing (well, almost). It was great.

  After singing along for a bit my mind began to focus on christmas morning. My wife and I would have just pulled an all nighter to get the presents wrapped. We would stuff some gifts and treats into the stockings. The daughters would wake up and have free reign over the stockings, but would have to wait for Mom and Dad to get up before opening the gifts. They were always so full of joy.

  Due to circumstances that I created, last year I missed celebrating the holidays with my family. There were still times of joy and happiness, yet. I hate "yets".

  So here I am in this Walmart singing along and remembering that this Christmas could be as last years was. My heart sank.

  I quickly realized I had to get out of the store. I grabbed what I knew I needed and bolted for the door. A miracle happened on the way out, there was a cashier with nobody in line, he just waved me in!

  I almost made it to my truck before the tears came. Since nobody was around to embarass me, I leaned against the truck and poured out my soul to my creator.

  So I am left with this strange mixture of emotions in my life. On the one hand, I am set free from my addictions and I celebrate. On the other, my addictions caused trouble that isn't over yet and I am not sure when it will be.

  For today I just move on. I never know when I will be side-swiped with these emotions. I know this, despite how difficult these feelings are to experience, I am so grateful that I can feel them. 

  It doesn't concern me that I could have an emotional moment in a parking lot. What concerns me is, how long until I can share those moments with my family?

  Have patience. God has been pulling an all-nighter. He is making Joshua grow up. I will emerge from this a spiritual warrior. If this process isn't perfected in Christ, I am doomed for failure.

  Take me Lord. Help me to never turn back from your will. I repent of my sin and despise those things I have done. Strengthen me in your word so that I might not fail. Lead on, Lord, lead on. 

 
 

  

Fear and Love

  Last night a friend and I had a discussion about fear. He had been in a conversation with others earlier in the night about fear. Guess some people don't understand how fear functions. He was having the correct thoughts, yet these others mistaken ideas started causing him some doubts.

  His thoughts were, if he begins to have fear in his life, he prays and God removes the fear. True, very true.

  Here's the thing: the Bible states clearly that "perfect love casteth out fear" (1 John 4:18). This section of the Bible is speaking about judgement of believers. It refines the thought down further by talking about how "as he was in the world so are we" (vs 17).

  So, if Christ was perfect and had no fear, can we be the same? Sure we won't be perfect in the sense of living a sinless life, but Jesus' perfect life is transferred to us, when we seek His forgiveness and trust in the finished work of the cross. So, that solves the perfection problem, what then about the fear issue?

  First let's define what fear is. I will choose two basic ideas about fear. One is a fear about things that could happen or have happened. The other is a fear of God.

  The fear of God is supposed to be a good thing. The Bible implores us to have this type of fear. If we are afraid we must ask if we are fearing God. If we are "fearing God" then the problem is solved.

  Most likely we are not fearing God. We are fearing circumstances. These circumstances can be self-inflicted or thrust on us by others. So what do we do?

  We must place our trust in Gods love. Provided that I have trusted Him with forgiving my sins, why should I struggle placing the rest of my life upon his shoulders? Am I forgetting that God has all power? Do I have assurance of His love penetrating my very being?

  The solution to the fear problem is so simple. Read the Bible, trust, and do what it says. Leave the worrying to God. He can handle it. He really can.  

  Upon reading this, you may think I have over-simplified the issue. You may have doubts that creep in and sieze you up. Hours upon hours spent freting over problems causing untold amounts of grief. Sleepless nights. Even ulcers can happen.

  Give it to God. My friend, God cares for you. His love will cast out your fear. He wants you to trust Him in everything. Praise God for His amazing grace!

  Oh, but let me caution you. If we have not received the gift of salvation, we should fear. If we have known sin in our life that we refuse to deal with, we should fear. If we are not doing the things God has asked, we should fear.

  It really is quite simple! Let me implore you, cast your cares upon God. Trust not on yourself. Let the finished work of Jesus carry you through life. His promises are real and His love is sure. Oh friend, give your heart to the one who made it!

  Step out and trust in Jesus. He promised to send you The Comforter. Take the gift! If God be for you, what worries could you possibly have?

Step into the light

Click Here. Timothy Brindle sings about being set free from pornography and sexual sin. Please, if you struggle or know someone who does, pray for them and share how Christ can set them free. Free indeed.

Mine Iniquities

Psa 40:11-13   Withhold not thou thy tender mercies from me, O LORD: let thy lovingkindness and thy truth continually preserve me. For innumerable evils have compassed me about: mine iniquities have taken hold upon me, so that I am not able to look up; they are more than the hairs of mine head: therefore my heart faileth me. Be pleased, O LORD, to deliver me: O LORD, make haste to help me.

  

Crab Truck

  This truck was parked next to me and getting unloaded at the same time. When he pulled out of the dock I noticed some tubes and airlines running along the inside ceiling of the trailer.

"What are the airlines for", I inquired.

"For hauling live crabs to the market from the ships", he replied.

  This is very specialized transport, I suppose. The airlines somehow keep the crawlers alive while in transport. Cool huh?

  This reminds me, I want to have a crab cookout sometime. I will call it a "Bring a hammer dinner". Everyone brings a hammer, we lay out some butcher paper, and lay out crabs and corn on the cob. There could be other food stuff as well. The point is to have a complete "hands on" dinner.

  Imagine the fun of everyone smashing and laughing. It would be a night to remember. Perhaps for music "If I had a hammer" would hit the spot.

  What kind of fun dinner parties can you think up? Have fun!

7 Billion People!

  The figure is so large (7,000,000,000) it is almost inconceivable. Try it out this way:

If you averaged one second for every number,
If you counted every second of every day,
If you only counted to 1 billion,
IT WOULD TAKE OVER 30 YEARS!

  Ah well. Glad you and I aren't God. That's a whole lotta people to keep track of. Staggering number isn't it? 30 years to count to 1 billion.

  Just a side note:
There is roughly 2.8 billion acres in the USA. That's about 3 people per acre. The earth is huge by large!

  My wife was wondering how they counted them all. They must have started like 200 plus years ago!

Lonnie Frizbee

  I have been catching up on the history of the Jesus movement of the late 60's and early 70's. Lonnie Frisbee certainly played an intregal part in these happenings.

  When Lonnie was saved he eventually found himself at Chuck Smiths house. Chuck had, until this point, rather despised the hippies and wanted them to clean up and change. When the two met Chucks heart was changed and thus began the transformation of Calvary Chapel.

  Lonnies life was one of struggles and victories. Much like the men in the bible, Lonnie served God yet struggled with his flesh. The bible speaks of these stuggles as being common to all men. The only exception to this truth is Jesus.

  Although Lonnie and I would have disagreed on some points about serving God, his salvation message and experience I find agreement upon. He spoke about repentance and reconciliation. He spoke about wrath and judgement. He spoke about love and mercy.

  I thank God for Lonnie. I have had troubles in my own walk with God. My troubles were also self-inflicted. I have been concerned that these faults meant that God could not use me. Lonnie proved that wrong. 

  Someday I will meet Lonnie. I hope heaven is a place where I can thank him for his service in the Kingdom of God. Many men have influenced my life, for some Lonnie influenced theirs. To be direct, without Lonnie and Calvary Chapel, my parents would not have met and had me. Now that's sumthin'!

  I stand in awe of Gods great grace. I, like some others, will always wonder how much more Lonnie could have been used if he hadn't let certain sin into his life. Nevertheless, God used Lonnie in a mighty way and the world will never be the same. Praise God that He uses broken sinners to preach the word.

  Lonnie, I never met you, but my life would not be the same if you never had served God. Thank you.    

 

So cute!

Impulsiveness

  I really kick myself over my impulse nature sometimes. The darnedest things can catch me. A little candy bar? Yes, please. Going out to eat rather than cooking? Of course!

  Oswald Chambers said, "An impulsive man is always a petted man". Yep. I gotta be petted. The image is just too funny. I can imagine sitting at Gods feet and rushing around like a yip dog, begging for little treats.

  It is a tough thing to become a disciple. Putting away those childish desires isn't natural. Many men have traded in tremendous marriages for those impulsive desires. I know I did.

 

The Switch

  Upon salvation the newfound believer encounters the most amazing transaction the world has never seen. All his sins were placed upon Jesus and all Jesus' righteousness was placed upon the newfound believer.

  Oh friend, do you grasp this truth? Can you fathom the depth of Gods love in this thing? Lemme explain.

  "Lucy, you have some esplainin' to do"

  Every moment of every day, for over thirty years, Jesus walked this earth and never once failed God. Wow! Behold, the perfect man, Jesus.

  Every moment of every day, for our lifetime, we have never once succeded in not sinning. The hallmark of our life is sin. Complete and utter failures. 

  When Jesus bore "the sin of the world" he also took on our sins. It is finished. Oh boy was it ever!

  This transfer is mind blowing. Jesus did not become a sinner, He became sin for us. This means that God looks upon my lifetime of sin and sees Jesus' lifetime of perfection. This also means that when Jesus bore our sin upon the cross, Gods wrath against our sin was poured out upon Jesus.

  What a gift! What a glorious God we have! Thank you Jesus for bearing my burdens and giving me yours! Taking my yoke of sin and giving me the yoke of righteousness is truly the best gift that was ever given.

  How about it? Have you let Jesus bear God's wrath for you? Or are you still hoping God didn't mean it? 

 

Chief sinner

Isa 54:17   No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD

  I have always heard the first part of this verse quoted. When I read the verse today my eyes about fell out of my face.

  I always had thought the verse refers to being protected from the devil. It does, in part. But that semi-colon is a doosie! "Every tongue" certainly adds a few more to the list doesn't it?

  The last part of the verse makes it abundantly clear that righteousness is only obtained of the Lord. We have no claim upon our own goodness. To further press the item home the Bible also says that OUR righteousness are as filthy rags.

  In a very real practical sense this verse speaks to the gossips in the church body. These judgemental people have often forgotten the huge debt they owed and the tremindous price that had to be paid. Here is a list of all the people I know who gossip. Haha, just kidding!

  Clearly in my own life this was the case. I set about building what looked like a good christian life, but really I was working on becoming a competitor with Paul for the title of "Chief Sinner". I very nearly obtained the goal.

  The goal of obtaining the title was thwarted by Gods word. It explains that all sin is disgusting and vile in Gods eyes. He will cast people away for being simply liars all the way up to rapists and murderers. Will people in torment be compairing whose sins were worse when all the flames are so hot? How could they? No comfort can be found for those in Hell. Obviously the one who wins the title of "Chief Sinner" is everyone. Only those who repent and trust in Jesus can truly grasp this concept. 

  If my broken spirit truly understands the nature of the sacrifice of Jesus, then I won't be as willing to crush someone under the wrath of my judgement. Gods judgement is plenty. The people must be warned. 

  Upon trusting in Jesus I am made aware of what a wretch I have been. Selfishness was my lifestyle and it cost others dearly. I will gladly take up my cross and follow my Lord. Every sinful action I ever did was placed upon Jesus at the cross. Oh grateful man that I am!

Exception to the rule

  I have a dear friend who wants his son to get involved in a church. He is hoping there may be a youth group his son can become a part of. I really hope his boy will be able to find a solid Christian group to be a part of.

  He is going to speak to a pastor of a church he hopes to attend. That's good. He expressed hope that the pastor would make an exception for his son, who is one year to young, to attend the youth group.

  I have mixed up thoughts about this. On one side, I see the needs of his son. On the other, age appropriate groups are good and his son should attend his own age group.

  Nevertheless, the desires of our heart should be to follow God. He is to lead us and direct our path. When we encounter a situation where we think we should be treated special, we must consider very carefully why we feel the situation merits special favor.

  This isn't to say that God can't or won't change things and make an exception for us. God knows, He really does, how much I plead for unmerited favor from Him.
Is it a failure if I don't get unmerited favor from God? Well, no! Of course not. He has control and I am glad He does. I stink it up big time when I run the show.

  I guess the point I am trying to get at is, why do people think they deserve special treatment. It is a silly thing for me to get irritated by, I know. I like having exceptions made for me. Guess I am a hypocritical exceptionist. God, please make an exception for me and not the next dude. Wow.

Wounded in battle

  It has been said that Christians are the only ones who will shoot their wounded.

  Have you found this to be true? Have you trampled on someone who was wounded in the Christian fight?

  We must define terms here. What does a "wounding" look like?

  Perhaps it is someone who is fighting a disease. I know Christians who despise those who fall ill. Especially when those who are sick have a mental illness. People who get sick as Christians often get prayer and love. But there are some who believe that sickness is a lack of faith. 

  What about those who get wounded because of their sin? (Strap on yer seatbelt, its gonna get rough up ahead). Imagine this, your fellow soldier has failed. Perhaps in the heat of battle he ran away. Perhaps he became a traitor. Maybe he shot at other soldiers. He was a horrible soldier and you just know it! Maybe he was never a "Christian soldier" at all. That slimeball!

  The key to solving the problem of shooting our wounded is repentance. If our fallen brother is repentant how many times should we forgive him? Don't answer that too quickly! Be honest, you don't want to forgive a brother who really blows it! Don't quote Bible verses like platitudes, what do you actually do?

  It is much easier to shoot the wounded. No sacrifice. No pain. We are a point and click generation. Point - click - problem solved.

  Let me point out something that our military learned. Our standard round for the AR-15 is .223. It is a very small caliber weapon. It is specifically used because it wounds the enemy with less chance of killing them. A wounded enemy will require the assistance of medics. Thus, one wounded soldier takes out three soldiers. Brilliant!

   However, if our enemies treated their wounded as some in the church treats our wounded, the wounded soldier would be shot in the back and disposed of, or left to suffer and die in their wounds.

  Let me paint a scenario:

   Suppose for a moment that someone in your church went and killed someone while driving drunk. It comes out that this "Christian" had been drinking heavily for years. In fact, he had been in "accidents" before. Somehow this person had still managed to "look good" on the outside. Nobody had a clue.

  The person awakens to the horror of his sin and repents. But how can you know for sure he repented? He fooled you before, right? And what about those poor peoples lives that were damaged. No amount of repentance can fix that situation. Can we truly expect God to transform someone who was "a brother" yet failed so dramatically?

  The choice is yours dear friend. Kneel down and help apply bandages, or point and click. What's it going to be? 

  Let me encourage you to become a medic. Help heal the wounded, even when their wounds are self inflicted. Perhaps you know someone who fell. Perhaps the fall was disgusting, heartbreaking, or perverted. Will you help them recover? Are you strong enough to shoulder the wounded and take them to the infirmary?

 

Battle of Bull Run

  I heard an astonishing story about the Battle of Bull Run. The "civil war" was really getting interesting. This battle was fought a short way from the city of Washington DC. There were numerous people who travelled to the battle field, set up picnics, and watched the battle. They wanted to go and see the yankees beat the rebs. Hopefully it was going to be a great show. 

  I understand the desire for those folks to come out and see their troops win the day. What is baffling, is how they could stomach it. "Oh look Auntie May, those young men are fighting so valiantly! Look at that one over there, he seems to be so scared, what a pity. Ooh look, that guys guts are falling out of him!" Get real, right?!

  Unbelievably, the civil war was also a war that you could hire someone to serve for you. You could simply pay them to fight in your stead. Guess if you had money you were "more valuable" than those who didn't. Not a bad deal! Hoorah for the bravery! The few, the proud, chumps.

  Is this any different today? Do we still want others to do battle for us, rather than be the soldier we were called to be? Of course we do. We like to watch the battle, but God forbid, we should fight!

  My natural desire is to place responsibility upon others. They must fight for me. I would like to set up a picnic on the sidelines and cheerlead for the team. Is this Gods will? No way!

  People often think of their pastor as "a hired gun". Perhaps some trust the theologians to teach them the truth, when God said The Holy Spirit would teach us. How about those wars we encounter with our flesh, men? "Its her fault! If she didn't dress that way..." blah blah blah. 

  God isn't amused.

  God wants us to pick up our weapons (Eph 6) and plunge into the battle. He will send re-enforcements but He won't cater the event. How naive of me to think that He might. Our responsibility is to show people the battle, then help fight alongside our fellows in arms.  

  I don't want to be a sideline Christian. The bench is too warm. Send me in coach! I am ready to swing for the fences! I am ready to charge hell with a squirt gun. Oh Lord, please strengthen me for the battle. Oh yeah, by the way, help me not curse those on the sidelines.  

Youtube

  Does anyone use the Blogger app on the android?  If so, have you found a way to embed video in a posting? I would like to post them in a more usable format. Thanks

100 postings

   Yep, made it past 100. What have you learned about me? Lots of humor and insight is what I hope.

  These postings can be a great relief. I suffer from times of being lonely and hopeless. I have learned to lean on and trust in The Lord. I hope to abandon myself to Him.

  At times it is very difficult to abandon myself to God. I have a history of holding onto all aspects of my life. Although I know that God is able and willing to lead me, I still grasp ahold of my life and imagine that I know what is best.

  I know that I am flawed. Last night I was reminded of that. I wanted to sin and was rationalizing the reasons why I should be allowed to. As the process of rationaliztion continued, God spoke gently to me. His words were, "Don't settle for the sin, my plans are much greater." 

  Unlike most of my life, last night I let go and God delivered me. I don't want to be specific about what the sin was, but lemme tell you, it was a battle. Last night I allowed God to have a victory. Today I am grateful.

  I know not where this blog will go. I just hope to share a bit of myself in it. God bless.

The Battle Cry

Hear the battle cry! <-----click

New wineskins

  The idea presented by Jesus, we should not put new wine into old wineskins, got me thinking a bit today.

  What is a practical example of an old wineskin. Could it be a reference to the religious people of that time. Perhaps the modern day religious people could be referenced. You know the type.

  If God tried to pour His spirit into those old wineskins, what would happen? New wine is alive. The fermentation process is actually yeast growing and living in the wine. While the wine is fermenting it releases gas. Yeast farts. Yummie huh? This gas will expand. If you are using an old wineskin it would burst. The old wineskin is dry and not flexible. The old skin does not have the capacity to change.

  So what about the religious people of Christ's time made the old wineskins? They are similar to many groups we find today. They obey the law of Moses, they faithfully attend church, they set themselves apart, and they have a form of godliness. These can be good things. However, these things only appear holy if God isn't in them.

  The trouble comes, frankly, when The Spirit comes. His Spirit wants to consume us. It wants to penetrate every fiber of our being. This process is painful and often takes time. During this process we may desire to be like our old selves. If we were actively sinning or pretending to be holy, we might want to return to our old life of sin. If we were religious, we might want to go back to those sacraments that we find comfortable. That is why God's Spirit can't be poured into an old skin.

  We must become new. We don't have the ability to cast off our old selves. Those bodies had already been used. When we repent of our sins, trust in the payment made by Jesus, God transforms us. We become new wineskins. God did it, not our works.

  Us, as new wineskins, can have times of stretching and pain. We may feel we could burst at any moment. But, because we are new creatures, God promised that we would not break.

  If you are a new creature, then celebrate the changes! To be of service to The King is a high honor. He has taken a fithy, wretched, and lifeless person and remade them. Allow Him to fill you up! Drink deeply from the wellspring of life.

  If you are concerned that you might not be a new wineskin, please consider the following: God made you, loves you, and cares about you. Your sins have torn you away from Him. If you say you have no sin you are deceiving yourself. You can become a better person but you will be in further sin if you think you can be good enough to satisfy God's laws you have broken. Repent (turn from those sins). Place your trust in the payment Jesus made. If you trust Jesus, you will be made new. If you trust yourself, His spirit cannot live in you. He will not place new wine into an old wineskin.

Mountaintops and Valleys

  Oswald Chambers devotion for today, (Oct 1) in "My utmost for His highest, raised the issue of over-reliance upon spiritual peaks to maintain ourselves. His point was that we can set ourselves up for failure if all we want are good times from God. Those "mountains", although great, are not what we are about. They prepare us for the valleys.

  Imagine my surprise when I listened to Greg Laurie today and he also discussed the phenomena. In fact, he quoted the reading from Oswald Chambers. His teaching was posted four days ago and I hadn't caught up yet. So I was floored when those two teachings tied together so well today.

  So let me put my ideas down about the subject.

  The times I spent in the spiritual valleys are so tough. I yearn for the mountain tops. It seems as if life is mostly valleys. It has been said that fruit grows in valleys not on mountain tops.

  A great experience in life is to hike a mountain and when you get to the top having a picnic. I think fruit is a great thing for a picnic. Taking the fruit from the valley onto the mountain is tremendous.
-insert a great spiritual application here-

  Pastor Greg spoke about the mountain of transfiguration. Jesus, John, James, and Peter had gone up the mountain. Jesus met with Moses and Elijah on the mountain. Jesus was shown in his true majesty. His glory was illuminating. What an amazing sight! 

  Peter is such a funny guy. Yet, he is so real. He surveys the scene and concluded that this is what a saviour really should be all about. He is like, "Let's build a place for ya'll to stay in. This is it!" Peter didn't much like the whole plan of God to crucify Jesus, this transfiguration and the prophets on the mountain, now that's what he called awesome. Peter didn't much care for the "valleys".

  I am similar to Peter. When God has brought me up to those incredible mountains, I simply don't like leaving. I stare down into the valleys dreading the time I will spend trudging those difficulties.

  Gods will is for me to be faithful and submitted to Him, without regard for elevation.

  That about sums it up. I was blessed with yet another great teaching. The fact that I have valleys to struggle through should be of no concern. Just draw closer to Jesus. He is able to do what no friend or family memeber can. He can light up the darkest of places.  

Finger nails

  A duck walks into a bar and asked the bartender for some grapes.  "We don't sell grapes", huffed the bartender.

  The next day the duck went back into the bar and again asked for grapes. Very irate, the bartender says, "we don't sell grapes!"

  The following day the duck walks into the bar and again asks for grapes. Fed up, the bartender says, "if you come in here again and ask for grapes I am going to nail you to the wall!"

  The next day the duck walks into the bar and asks if they had any nails. The puzzled bartender says, "Well, no, I don't have any nails".

  The ducks says, "Hmm, well then, got any grapes?"

  Dumb joke. But it made for a good transition into nails, finger nails that is!

  About a year ago I stopped chewing my finger nails off. This has been a learning experience. I have never had to trim, file, or clean my nails before. I think I am doing fairly well.

  I like having actual finger nails. I like it when they are clean and well trimmed. Until yesterday.

  I didn't bite them off or anything like that. Instead what happened is, I caught one on a piece of metal and ripped the entire end off. Yowza!

  I had always heard women complain about chipping or breaking a nail. I never understood. So, for all the women who have I would like to say, "That really hurts!" I gotta be more careful.

  Oh well, guess it will grow back. For now, I just have a sensitive finger tip. I kinda wish it had been my middle finger so I could show people. Just kidding! 

Donkey poop

  Some people may not have a history with donkey poop. I have lots.

  For starters, I grew up in the mountains. There were donkeys that lived there. They were wild yet somewhat tame-ish. In the field behind the house they would gather and roll around in the dirt. The "bowl" that they created by rolling around was always a curious site to explore.

  The neighbors house had stained wood finish. I guess it had just the right flavor profile because the donkeys would chew the corners off the house.

  Our dogs liked the donkeys. They loved to chase them around. We were always worried one would get kicked. Eventually one did. The dog came home with one eye popped out of its socket. I thought dad might try and stuff it back in. That would have been cool!

  Well the donkeys were real poop producers. And us kids just had to find a use for something that was all around us. What to do?

  Fresh ones were still damp so they could stick to your target. And they made a pleasant shplaat when they hit.
  We never could figure out what to do with the dry ones. So they became, on a quiet summer day, the matter of a truth or dare contest. It didn't matter what the truth was, we wanted to see if someone would eat the dried donkey muffins. I did.

  Of course I did. Who wouldn't?

  Next we come to the Grand Canyon. We are on a hike to the bottom and back up. I marvel at all the donkey scat around. Actually I think they were burros. But the flavor was likely the same.

  I commented on all the ample supply of donkey poop around and how great that was. My uncle Aaron thought that was grand as well. He chartered me a licence for exploration.

  It was my job to survey the path ahead and make sure everyone knew when the path was obscured by the delectible droppings. Ok, enough of the food references. That's just gross!

  So what my uncle had created was magic. My family got to enjoy the wonder of Gods creation, marvelling at all the beautiful rocks, while listening to a young boy merrily travel the trail ahead calling out "donkey poop" every few seconds. Wow there was so much! Woohoo! 

  I remember my uncle laughing til his side hurt! He was bright red and loving it. My mom was disgusted. She hadn't  known I ate the stuff, she just didn't like my "donkey poop" serenade. Ah, the sounds of the canyon and a little boy calling out "donkey poop" for hours on end. Ain't life grand, er canyon that is!

A Claymore and the dragons

  The title doesn't give too much away, does it? A claymore is a two handed broadsword made by the Scotish. The 17th century was fought using those tremendous weapons. Someday I hope to get one.

  Let me share a tale. Its a true tale. One that happened to me. Somewhere in the forgotten past....

  I remember those epic battles of youth. The swords would be drawn and we would "duel". It was a delicate process because we were frightened of actually getting hurt. I mean, sure the swords were plastic, but they could draw first blood! So we would end up hacking at bushes or trees, but really we were slaying ogres.

  Many a valiant campaign was fought in those days. Enemy camps were all around. When the territories were finally conquered, we then turned our attention to the enormous dragon problem that faced the countryside.

  We would set up these huge iron prisons and capture the dragons. Wrestling the dragon and making it play nice was our way of showing off. Watch out men! Be very careful to avoid those slavering teeth!

  The dragons loved hiding in the shade. So, we would perch the prison upon a great rock on one side and then wait for the dragon to hide underneath. Then very quietly we would sneak up, yank away the boulder, and capture the magnificent beast.

  While in captivity the dragons would get hungry and we would plunder the neighboring towns for goats or sheep to calm the savage creature.

  Sometimes the dragon would make for an escape. We would cast ourselves onto his tail and wrestle him back into the prison. Some dragons had learned to abandon their tail so they could escape and they could grow new ones! Can't save your face and ass at the same time, right? 

  Eventually night time would come. We would have to retire our swords for the night. Usually we let the dragons go but sometimes mom allowed us to keep them inside.

  I am not sure she understood why we would take her iron skillets outside or why we would set them on the ground with one side lifted up by a rock. Those were the days when skillets were prisons, lizards were dragons, flies were sheep, and little boys were warriors.

Vacation

  Ah sweet vacations. A time for relaxation. Maybe a little romance. In short, unplugging from stress.

  That is the way vacations should be. For me? Not so much.

  In times past vacations were actually quite stressful on me. Beyond the facts of spending money and seeing people, there was always an anticipation of great things that never quite happened the way I thought they should.

  Rain in Disneyland. Fog at the Grand Canyon. Arguments with kids, relatives, and wife. How is it that I can mess up even the most perfect of times? If the sign says "fun times ahead" I get twitchy.

  Yet the romantic idea of a vacation still attracts me. The thoughts of seemingly endless days on the beach or watching a sunset thru the trees while camping. Those boundless days finding the next exciting ride at the theme park. And yes, even spending time around the table trying to relate with people I barely know.

  Family is the point of vacation. At times I felt like Clark Griswald just trying to eek out a little fun, even if it kills us.

  There are many wonderful memories of spectacular times spent vacationing with my family. Those great experiences are items I will always cherish.

  May God grant me a chance to lay down some more memories. I promise to savor every moment. After all, we only have right now. Live in it!    

 

The Pretender

  When others share their experience it affords me an opportunity to relate. This in turn causes deep reflection and perhaps change in my own life. 

  When a man pours out his life experience, I am most willing to learn from this man. The difficulty I have is when men won't do this. They clam up and seem to think that all has changed and thus became better. They seemingly think that time has changed events. I can't relate.

  I can relate to a man who has walked through the tough issues, then shares what had happened. I imagine a warrior who has fought an epic battle. Not an epic battle with an outside enemy, but rather his own flesh. One day he starts seeing some victory. Praise God.

  Years later you ask the guy what it was like. I don't know if its pride, ego, or brain disease, but the guy can't or won't recall the days he struggled. He comforts himself by working even harder for God thinking that the past will just fade away. He fools himself into thinking that perhaps he never struggled. Oh foolish man, how can you help another?

  Listen up pretender. You think God delivered you from yourself just so you can make believe you never failed. Who are you kidding here? Me or God?

  Come on men! Own you faults. Did you have a marriage that failed? Did you fail your marriage? You say, "Well she had a boyfriend". I am sure you were as pure as the wind driven snow. Your mind never commited adultery. Or maybe you had a girlfriend on the side. Nobody knows so you won't tell. Come on man!

  Please men, I beg you, stop white washing those sepulchers. When you share about how good you were while your family was being destroyed, I know you are being a liar and a hypocrite! You can offer me nothing. I can't learn from you how to serve God better when all you do is revise history. Do you really feel better trying to fool me? Pretender.

  Ok, relax here Josh. Gotta calm down a bit. I am sorry dear reader if the wording gets a bit severe. I have been wounded by men who act as though they never failed. Imagine this, they even tell me to try and hide my own failures so I won't have problems! This is not Gods way.

  I am a horrible wretched sinner. My specific sins are so terrifying, I am really not able to talk about them in an open forum. Someday God may ask me to. He hasn't yet. Today I share my story with specific men around me. They have to know what I have done and what God is doing. Failure on my part to share the truth renders me useless for God.

  Think of King David. Many stories of his failures are in the bible. Murder, adultery, idolatry, lying, etc... they are all there. Yet God loved him. He was a dude after Gods own heart! Cool!

  So, how about it men. Can you put aside the paint brush, stop white washing history, and share about your own failures? You seem to do good at sharing about other mens failures. Try sharing yours.

  We must, as men, stop pretending that we always had it all together. Our wretched past is nothing to be ashamed of, if Christ has washed us clean in his blood. Allow God to use your past as an illustration that others can relate to. Or, we can go on pretending and hope our past won't haunt us. Chose wisely.